What He Has To Do
by hazman11
Summary: (Complete) A ten year out of time, Xander, has to make the most difficult decision of his life, between love and the chance to rescue his past. (Xander/Dawn)
1. Part One

Title - What He Has to Do 

Author - Andrew Parkinson (parkinson_aw@powerup.com.au)

Summary - An out of place Xander has a decision to make

Spoilers - If you don't know what happens up to Buffy 5.16 then I would

suggest not reading.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. I'm just borrowing them for a

little bit. .

Feedback: Yes Please

Dedicated: To Cynthia, Adrian and Erin.

Part One

The blinding luminescence that emanated from the orb, lit up the woods, bringing daylight in the night, with each pulse. It floated behind Krostoff and provided a almost unreal glow to the events unfolding in its presence. Whatever the orb actually was, Buffy didn't want to find out. Not now. All she knew was she had to get it. It was powerful, too powerful to be in demon hands, and the prophecies had told her it would be pivotal in the coming months as she faced her strongest challenges yet. 

Giles had, so far at least, no success in actually finding out how the 'orb' would be pivotal. Whether it would be good, bad, or just pretty. But it was powerful, and quite capable to channeling unimaginable power. Why it was in the hands of Krostoff, was another puzzle that Giles and the Scooby Gang had yet to unravel. 

Krostoff, himself was a mystery. He had showed up last night and tried to kill Buffy. Research only provided a couple of cryptic clues. That he was a master of Dimensions and realities. And that he uses a magic chant to transport himself from area to area.

Suffice to say the Scooby Gang went into this battle severely under-prepared. Luckily for them, they had become good at fighting against the odds. Tonight was no different. Krostoff's minions had been dealt with early, leaving the scaly covered demon on his own. He was an imposing sight. Standing nearly seven feet tall, scales covering his whole body. His eyes seemed to glow a incredibly light blue, quite a beautiful colour in itself, but put together with his own package, it added just a little bit of icy evil to his persona. What was also different was the way he fought. He didn't chase Buffy. Instead he stood their letting his orb fire away, as if he was waiting for an opening. 

If they didn't need the Orb the gang would have just walked away. But they needed it, so they stayed.

"Buffy, look out!" Giles shouted as the orb spewed forth another discharge. Each discharge looked like the orb was sending out liquid, ignited by the depths of hell. It's red discharge covered a few metres radius each time it spat it out, and you needed to be alert. Giles's warning was timely, allowing Buffy to quickly roll out of the way of as the liquid hit the ground behind her. The liquid was yet another unknown. It didn't burn the ground, trees or anything else it, hit. They had no idea of what its effect would be on humans, but they also weren't keen to volunteer to find out. 

As Buffy rolled away, she moved quickly over to where Willow and Tara were crouching behind a tree. 

"I can't get near it," Buffy said with a great deal of annoyance. 

"We can't get any of our spells working. There's some sort of mystical energy dampening all of our power," Willow replied.

"He's strong, Buffy." Tara added.

Buffy gave them both a moral lifting smile, "I know. But we'll think of something." Buffy ran over to Giles and Xander, wondering exactly what they would think of. At that moment she was coming up with a great big blank. 

"Giles! Willow and Tara are powerless. We need to get the orb, before I forget how good of a dodge ball player I was, and get splurged on."

"I know. Unfortunately we seem to be out of ideas," Giles admitted, his original plan having failed due to Willow and Tara lack of success. 

"You need a decoy, Buff," Xander said preparing to get up, before being forced back down with a heavy hand attached to a slightly annoyed slayer.

"Xander, No!" she said, her eyes telling him not to argue. 

Unfortunately in that short time when Buffy wasn't paying attention to her enemy, Krostoff had moved closer, coming with in ten feet of the slayer.

Giles was the one who noticed first, "Buffy look out!"

Buffy turned at Giles yell, and immediately saw the danger she was in. Getting to her feet she moved forward, kicking out at Krostoff with one of her patented spin kicks. Buffy however was having one of those nights when everything was not going 100 percent. In this case her timing was off slightly. The error, causing her to miss Krostoff's jaw.

Krostoff grabbed Buffy's ankle as it flew past his head, and pulled her towards him, her head banging on the grass as hid did so. The blow almost knocked Buffy out of it for a moment, but she was able to stay conscious, if a little incapacitated. 

"Buffy!" Xander yelled as he got up and ran at Krostoff. He didn't believe he had any chance of defeating the demon in front of him. All he hoped was his distraction would give Buffy enough time to break free. He charged at the behemoth in front of him, kicking out at where he believed its knees would be, hoping that gravity would take care of the rest. 

The effect was immediate as Krostoff dropped Buffy and fell to its knees. The bellow that screamed out of its mouth echoed for seconds after in the woods. It was a deep guttural yell that shook the trees and branches around the clearing. 

Buffy had not time however to take in a class on acoustics. Taking advantage of the crouching demon, she started laying into it, each kick and punch wearing Krostoff down further. As he became weaker, Krostoff realised he couldn't afford to stay any longer. There would be other times, but the reserves he had left were needed to transport himself away. Furthermore he knew he needed the energy boost, the chant would give him, to escape both The Slayer's hands and to grab back the orb. Closing his eyes, he started chanting. Buffy almost missed it, as it's chant was softer than the sounds of her blows on his body. 

"Buffy, he's trying to leave," Giles said, as he heard the chants. "Willow grab the orb."

Willow got up from behind the tree and ran over to grab the orb, from where it had fallen. 

Buffy had stopped pummeling Krostoff, believing him incapable of fighting back. But suddenly he stopped chanting, and rose to his feet in a fraction of a second. He raised his hand towards Willow and suddenly the orb flew out of Willow's hand. Once he had the orb in his own hand again he looked down at Buffy, half-snarling, half-laughing. "Till we meet again, slayer,"

Buffy had no idea what was happening. She couldn't believe that he was just going to give up. What was worse he had the orb again. Without thinking anymore she jumped at him, but was met with a hand around her throat. 

"You fought well Slayer. He could have left. But now you come with me. Lets see how you like the Time Winds" Krostoff 's voice resonated in Buffy's ears and she suddenly felt the world spinning.

As Giles and the rest of the Scoobys looked on, ribbons of energy formed around Krostoff and Buffy, swirling in a clockwise pattern reaching up to a point a few metres about them in the sky. White in colour, the energy ribbon was tinged with orange streaks, providing a colourful if forbidding spectacle. As it started to pulse, the Scooby's noticed that Buffy and Krostoff started to fade in and out. Xander quickly looked at Giles for a solution, but saw that he was just as stuck as he was. 

"Giles!" Xander shouted, indicating they should try something,

Giles nodded, and charged at the pair, but was thrown away like a rag doll as soon as he hit the energy ribbons. Xander cursed under his breath, hoping that something he had seen on a TV show may work. He moved closer, feeling his anxiety grow as Buffy continued to fade in and out of existence. He didn't charge at the energy field, instead he slowly pushed his way through it. He could feel his body moving through the swirling particles, until he was inside with them. 

Xander was lucky that Krostoff was busy trying to keep Buffy under control, otherwise he didn't want to think about how easily the floor wood have been wiped with his body. 

It may not have been the nicest way to incapacitate someone, but at that point Xander had run out of ideas. He forced his finger into Krostoff's eye, not stopping till Krostoff yelled out in pain. As he dropped Buffy, Xander pushed her out of the energy swirl, throwing the orb out behind her. 

"Boy!" Krostoff yelled at him, the force of the wind gushing from its mouth knocking Xander to the ground. "You want to take her place. Feel free." Looking back at Buffy who was getting up from outside, the energy ribbon he yelled at her, "you won't be able to save him slayer. It's too late. He won't survive."

"Xander!" Buffy yelled, not believing the events unfolding in front of her. She rushed forward and tried to get back into the energy field. Xander and Krostoff only seemed to be partially there and Buffy could tell whatever Krostoff was doing was about to come to a conclusion and that may mean losing Xander to wherever Krostoff was going to. She forced her hand through the field, till she reached Xander's hand. The first two times she tried to grab hold of it, her hand went through his, as if he no longer existed in their reality. Xander's scream, sounding like he was being ripped apart from the inside, only spurred her on to keep trying. On the third attempt she grabbed it and yanked him out just as the energy field imploded, taking Krostoff with it.

At the exact moment Buffy pulled Xander out, the energy ribbon imploded and the combined forces caused Xander to sail across the clearing till he landed near some bushes 10 metres away. Buffy, Giles, Willow and Tara rushed over to him, hoping that neither Krostoff nor the landing had done any permanent damage. 

When they got there, they all gasped. Xander was fading in and out, ghost like. For a few seconds he was whole, then transparent, and then whole again. 

"Buffy," he softly croaked out.

"We're all here Xander," she replied. 

"Are you okay?" he asked weakly.

Buffy forced back a tear, hating the fact Xander asked about her before himself. "I'm fine."

"The orb?"

"We have it, just rest, till we find out what's happening."

Something inside Xander told himself that wasn't an option. "No time, Buff." Xander couldn't really see any of them now. As much as he was fading away to them, they were fading away to him. He hoped this wasn't the end, but if it was he needed to say a couple of things. "Willow" he called out. 

Willow knelt down by Xander and laid her hand on his chest, not pushing for fear of her hand going through his. "I'm here."

"Tara, take care of my her..." Xander's words like his body faded out this time. 

"Tell Anya I love her ...." He continued as he faded again.

"I love you all......"

and again as the fades got quicker.

"Giles, Dawn...."

And again.

"You are.....

This time he did not fade back.

End Part One


	2. Part Two

Chapter Two

Dawn looked around at the people that had gathered at her house for Xander's memorial. It seemed as though everyone who had even remotely been associated with the Scooby Gang over the years had turned up. 

It had been one week since Xander had disappeared. And as far as Dawn was concerned, he had disappeared. She refused to say he had died. To her he was simply in another place, and while in her head she knew she would not see him again, her heart still held a little bit of hope. 

It may have been wishful thinking but it helped her cope. Which is what she needed this close to the loss of her mother. 

She wiped her eyes, as the memories of one week ago came flooding back. 

She had been upstairs in her bedroom, when she heard the sound of her front door opening. She had taken to staying up till Buffy got home lately. Giles had told her it was her way of making sure Buffy was okay. She understood that and thankfully neither Buffy nor Giles had any problem with it. As she made her way down the stairs, she looked over at them in the lounge room and immediately knew something was wrong. She had seen the look too soon ago. She just looked at them, not saying a word. 

"Dawn.." Buffy started.

"No!" Dawn screamed before running up the stairs to her bedroom. 

Buffy turned to face Giles, "I can't do this again." She couldn't get out anymore as more tears started to flow down her face.

Giles moved over and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm here for you Buffy, but Dawn needs to hear it from you." 

Buffy looked up at Giles, seeing the pain on his face. It equaled her own. She nodded, and moved up the stairs. 

Dawn lay on her bed, trying not to think about all of the possibilities of what could have gone wrong. She tried not thinking of names. That was too painful. The soft knocking at the door interrupted her thoughts.

"Go away!" she shouted.

Buffy turned the doorknob and opened the door. "Dawn," she pleaded. Seeing that she got no response, Buffy moved over the bed and sat down on the edge of it. Buffy couldn't bring herself to say it. She grabbed hold of Dawn's hand. "It's Xander,"

Dawn's lip started quivering, tears started appearing at the sides of her eyes and she felt her throat gag slightly. "No!" she cried, "No!"

Buffy grabbed her and held onto her tightly, letting her own tears fall as the two sisters tried to find some strength in each other, when both of them felt none at all.

Dawn wiped a small tear away, which had flowed as she remembered that night. She knew however that no matter how bad she was feeling, Anya felt worse. She hadn't been there when Willow and Tara had gone back to the magic shop to inform Anya what happened one week ago. And she hadn't talked to either of them about that night. Dawn decided that it was a private thing for Anya. But then five days later Anya turned up on their doorstep, tears falling down her face, and crying out that he was really gone. Buffy and her had sat with Anya for hours that night. Firstly holding her, then reminiscing with her about various Xander related memories. A couple of times during those trips down memory lane, Dawn stopped. The knowledge that it wasn't real adding a new layer of grief on top of the existing mountain. 

But the second time she did that Anya noticed and leaned over and told her something Xander had never told Dawn. 

"When we first found out that you ,...well where you came from, Xander and I talked about it for most of the night. He remembered everything from when you came with Buffy and your Mom to Sunnydale. Those memories were real to him. Just as real as they are to you. "

It was then for the first time that Dawn really liked Anya. She had accepted her as Xander's girlfriend, but it was at that moment she felt close to her for the very first time. She reached over to give her a hug, and was surprised when Anya whispered something to her.

"He loved you. Remember that."

Snapping back to the present day, Dawn noticed that Anya was looking over at her. She gave her a smile, though Dawn admitted to herself that it wasn't as reassuring as she hoped it would be. But no matter what else, Dawn had finally understood why Xander loved Anya. 

It was then she felt a hand come down on her shoulder. Turning around, she noticed that it was Cordelia. "Hi Cordy," she said with a smile. She may not have seen much of Cordelia since she moved away from Sunnydale, but she still remembered when Xander and Cordelia use to look after her some nights. 

"Hey Dawn,' Cordy replied, giving her a hug. "You doing okay?"

"Yeah, no, ...you know.."

Cordy gave her sad look. "I know exactly."

Dawn took another look around the room, noticing who was there. Willow, Tara, Angel, Buffy, Giles, Anya, Wesley, Jonathon, Devon, Oz and a few others she didn't know the names of. "Who are they?" she asked Cordy, pointing to the group of people she didn't recognise.

Cordy looked over. "We went to school with them. I think Xander made more of an impact than we or he realised."

"Not me," Dawn protested, trying to stick up for Xander.

Cordelia smiled back at her. "I know. He was always number one to you. I think sometimes all he wanted to do, was keep the Summers' sisters safe."

"Yeah,' Dawn admitted softly. "And looked what happened."

Across the other side of the room, Angel moved over to where Giles was sitting down. 

"Giles," Angel said as he approached. Even though it was years after the event, and Angel and Giles had spoken numerous times since, Angel still felt the guilt over the hours he spent torturing Giles. 

"Angel," Giles warmly answered, gesturing him to take a seat. "Any news?" he asked quietly.

Angel shook his head. Giles had asked Angel to look into Krostoff, to try and get an idea of what exactly happened to Xander. Because of the lack of information on Krostoff, Giles had hoped that Xander may have been transported somewhere else. Krostoff had talked about 'Time Winds', but Xander had also been thrown out of the energy vortex by Buffy. Giles hoped Angel's connections may be useful.

Unfortunately Angel had no real information. The only thing about Xander he got at all was from The Host, and that was so vague he didn't think it was going to be any use.

"I'm sorry. There's this demon that sees futures." Noticing the look Giles gave him Angel had to let out a chuckle. "I see you have heard about it. Well he said that Xander did what he would always do."

Giles visibly slumped on hearing that news. He had hoped for more.

Angel noticed Giles reaction and sympathised. "I know, it's not really anything. What other information I could find, all concerned the orb. I haven't found any encouraging news."

Giles nodded sadly. He had thought it was too much hope, which is why he had kept it secret from the others. "Then maybe we should remember him, instead of holding out for false hope."

"I'll still keep looking."

"For Buffy and Cordelia?"

Angel shook his head. "For all of us," he replied. 

*************

Two weeks later

Dawn and Buffy stood looking at the spot where Xander was last seen. There were no marks, no gravestones, and no memorials. Their memories alone would remember the spot where he faded away. His parents had refused to believe anything bad had happened to him and simply believed he had left Sunnydale without telling them on purpose. Buffy was inclined to tell them what she exactly thought of them but kept quiet. It was a tactful move that Dawn hadn't mastered as she yelled out them. 

"Some people don't deserve children."

Needless to say it was the last contact the Summers' girls had with Xander's parents.

Buffy knelt down at the spot she had last touched him. "I'm so sorry Xander."

Dawn knew how guilty Buffy had been feeling since Xander left. At one time Buffy had screamed at Dawn to blame her for what happened, as if that would lift the guilt. But Dawn refused to. She knew that there was nothing Buffy could have done. Cordelia had said it clearly. He would have done anything to save them both. Dawn also knew he would've done it for any of the Scooby Gang. 

She knelt down beside Buffy and laid a hand on her shoulder. "He wouldn't want you to be like this."

Buffy looked up at Dawn. "Is that why you seem better," she replied, wishing she could find the strength her kid sister was showing. 

"I cry every night. For Mom, for Xander. But I also know they would want us to go on. Live life." 

Buffy gave her an appreciative grin. "Since when did you become the big sister?" she asked with admiration.

Dawn may have had a smile on her face, but Buffy could tell the sadness behind it. "Since my big brother showed me the way."

***************

As night fell over Sunnydale, a cool wind whipped up the leaves that had fallen around the town. In the clearing where Xander had disappeared, the silence was broken by the sound of swirling wind, mixed with an almost demonic echo. The sound reached a crescendo, and then exploded. As it did fading into the reality was Xander Harris.

"... my family ... I love you ..."

Suddenly Xander felt whole again. Not daring to get up just at that moment, he patted his chest a few times, just to make sure that it was indeed real.

"Oh thank god. Whatever you did Buffy, thank you." After a few seconds he realised he didn't get any response. "Buffy!"

Lifting himself up he looked around but there was no one in sight. 

"Oh great, if there is another me my apartment I'm quitting this gig," he muttered, before getting up, shaking the dirt and leaves off him, before heading off home. He needed a shower some sleep, then a word with the gang about leaving a member out in the field. 

End Part Two 


	3. Part Three

Part Three

Something just wasn't right.

Xander couldn't put a finger on what, exactly. If his mind hadn't been on getting home, he may have thought about it more on the way over. But it was only when Xander tried to get his door open, and found his key didn't fit, did he think about it. And when he thought back, he realised the world had seemed a little out of kilter, since he had left the woods. 

There were too many people around for one thing. Sunnydale, apart from the main streets was usually quite empty at night. Years of people disappearing had made people stay away from dark places like parks and streets. But Xander saw so many people he wondered if the mall had moved to his side of town in the last 60 minutes. There were people pushing babies in prams, young couples walking hand in hand, other people walking the family pet. It was very un-Sunnydale to him. 

The next thing he noticed were the cars that drove past. They seemed just a little sleeker, a little lower. Sure he saw ones he recognised, but he there seemed to be too many cars driving past that he hadn't seen before. 

Then, now he thought of it, when he arrived at his apartment building he noticed the outside had been given a new coat of paint. He was surprised he had missed the notification on that bit of maintenance. 

Then came the problems with the lock. 

He was just about to leave and phone the apartments' super, when he heard the sound of someone inside. He forcibly banged his fist against the door, leaving no doubts in the occupants' mind that someone outside wanted to see them.

He was just about to bang again, when the door opened and a gentlemen of around 40 hesitantly peered out from behind.

"Can I help you?" he asked, obviously concerned at what the stranger may do to him.

"Yeah, I'll say you can. What are you doing in my apartment," Xander replied pushing his way past. He stopped as soon as he entered the room. There was none of his furniture in sight. Everything was different. He turned back to face the man who answered the door. "What've you done with all my stuff?" This time there was less anger and more confusion in his voice.

The gentlemen, left the door open, half because he didn't want the stranger to think he was welcome and more importantly he wanted a quicker escape if needed. 

"I'm sorry, were you here before I moved in?" he asked wondering if this was the previous tenant that skipped town owing back rent.

"How long have you been here?" Xander asked. 

"For a month,' the man replied. 

"A month?' Xander asked incredulously, not quite believing he could have been gone for so long.

"Did you used to live here?"

"Yeah," Xander replied, slowly coming to the realisation that he had to see his friends, to let them know he is okay. "I'm sorry for banging the door down," he started to say apologetically. 

Something in the way Xander spoke changed the man's demeanor. 

"Do you want me to call someone?"

"No. Thanks anyway. I'll go and see her. She's probably worried." Xander gave last look round at his apartment, former apartment. He really liked this place, but if he had been gone for over a month, there was one ex vengeance demon, current girlfriend, that he really needed to see.

He only hoped she hadn't moved on it the time he was gone, or at the very least, wasn't too angry with him.

***************

"I'm sorry Mr. Harris, but I don't know anyone by that name." The lady who answered the door at Anya's residence was getting more and more impatient, each time she had to repeat herself.

"But she has to be here, or you must know about her. Anya Emerson, about so high," Xander desperately continued, holding his hand out at Anya's approximate height. 

"Look, I can only tell you what I know. I don't know of that person. You may want to check with Betty down the hall. She has been here longer than I have." The lady started to close the door, until Xander, put his foot in the way.

"Excuse Me!" she yelled indignantly.

"I'm sorry, just one thing. How long have you been here for?" Xander asked.

"Over a year," the lady replied before forcing her door shut, leaving a very confused and upset Xander, slumping to the ground in the hallway.

Xander didn't actually move for almost 30 minutes. He was trying to take in the reality of his situation. Xander could remember the few hours ago, when he kissed Anya goodbye, before heading off to help Buffy. Yet it now seemed as though over a year had passed. As freaky as that thought was it did make sense of some of the things he had seen tonight. The cars would have had new models and his apartment would have been repainted. He understood now why his landlord would have re-let his place. 

A sudden thought struck him, one that he didn't like. If he had been gone for that long, what did his friends believe had happened to him? Was he meant to be dead? Is that why Anya didn't live here anymore? He hoped that it wasn't true. The rest of the Scooby Gang seemed to finally be excepting her, and he hoped that they would all help each other.

The thought that his friends believed him deceased was enough to get him to finally move. He didn't know whether to head over to Giles or Buffy's, but he knew he had to see one of them. It was his only way of finding out what exactly had gone wrong.

As he rounded the corner he was met my two policemen. He sidestepped to avoid them, thinking that they must have been going to see someone else, but was surprised when one of them forced him against the wall.

"What are you doing?" Xander asked, so not wanting this right now.

"We had a compliant from the lady in apartment 17, said a man had tried to force his way inside her apartment and wouldn't leave." The cop who was holding Xander against the wall replied. "What were you doing there?"

"I thought a friend lived there. I haven't been around for a while and was surprised that she no longer lived there."

"So you thought you would just annoy an innocent lady?" the other cop chimed in with.

"What...No!" Xander yelled not believing that he was getting grief for this. "I was just going to see another friend, seeing if they knew where my friend from here had gone to."

"What's your name?"

"Harris, Xander" Xander replied getting rather annoyed at the hold up this was causing. 

While one of the cops got on his two-way and called in the name Xander had given them, the other one let Xander off the wall, and turned him around. 

Xander noticed the cop that was talking via the two-way had started to look at him harder. He really didn't like the look of this. 

"Okay, understood." The cop said, clicking off his radio. "We need you to accompany us down to the station, to answer some questions."

"Am I under arrest?" Xander asked wondering why it was this serious.

"No, and you don't have to be, if you accompany us willingly."

Xander shrugged. He thought about protesting, but believed he would be out of this quicker, if he just followed instructions. 

***********

Xander's reasoning would have gone a lot better, if he had known that he was classified as missing, presumed deceased. With that little bit of information Xander would have realised that the police would have had a lot of questions. 

But as no one had let him in on that, he sat in the room they had placed him into silently, wondering about the safety of his girlfriend, as well as his other friends. One year was a long time, especially on the Hellmouth. 

"Don't I get a phone call?" Xander asked. 

"You're not under arrest," the cop replied.

"Well if that's the case, can I let someone know that I am here?" 

The cop thought about it for a second, before nodding. "Give me the number and I will call it." 

Xander quickly wrote down Buffy's number, on the piece of paper that the officer gave him. He reasoned that since she owned her house, she would be less likely to move. 

The cop took the piece of paper from him and walked out, locking the door on the way.

"I'm surprised you said yes," his partner said as he walked outside the room. 

"I wasn't going to, but I am interested in who he wants to come and get him. Since he is meant to be dead and all."

**************

An hour later Xander had still not been questioned and no one had come to see him. He was beginning to wonder if he been forgotten. Unfortunately they had not forgotten to keep his door locked so he had nothing else to do, but sit there and wait. 

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of keys in the door, opening the lock. Xander stood up on reflex, as if readying himself for something to come. 

"Harris, you have a visitor," the officer that opened the door said. Before stepping aside to let the other person through.

Xander's hopes were raised, thinking that the cop must have gotten through to Buffy. However the women that walked through the door was not Buffy.

She was, however, a vision of beauty. Xander immediately wondered whom he had to thank for getting him this lawyer. 

His silly thoughts stopped abruptly when he noticed the way that she was staring at him. 

He focused on all of her features. Her eyes, nose, mouth, and the way she stood, looking at him. She was much like the rest of the night had been. Familiar but different. 

It was her movement of her face as she went to speak that solved the mystery for him. 

"Xander! It is you, isn't it," she said rushing over to him and grabbing him hard. 

Xander couldn't say anything. The ramifications of what he was seeing was clear enough to him. 

"Xander?" she asked concerned as she moved back a little, letting the embrace fall apart slightly.

"Umm...yeah..." Xander replied, finding his voice. He stared at her longer, her smile, becoming infectious as he found the word she was obviously waiting for him to say.

"Dawn?" 

She nodded in response, before hugging him tight again. 

Xander did not know what to say. He started laughing, a hollow laugh and the situation he found himself in. His worries about a year away were mute now.

Dawn looked older than he did.

End Part Three


	4. Part Four

Part Four

15 Minutes earlier

The smell of the freshly brewed coffee still permeated throughout the house as Dawn took her mug over to her favourite chair and sat down. She took a deep breath of the flavour, before bringing the cup to her lips and sipping on the top layer. It was just what she needed after the day she had. All she wanted to do was have her cup of coffee, listen to some music than head to bed, in the wish that tomorrow would bring something new.

Her dreams of Idillya were interrupted by the sound of her phone ringing. Glancing at her watch, she frowned at the lateness of the hour, though truth be told it had more to do with the fact she was comfortable, then the hour being past ten.

Placing her cup down on the table, she walked slowly over to the phone, pausing to stretch half way there, as if her body told her it was necessary to answer the phone, with her muscles warmed up. 

"Hello, Dawn Summers" she answered after picking up the handset.

'Miss Summers I'm sorry for calling at this hour. My name is Inspector Fletcher from Sunnydale P.D"

Dawn frowned, having no idea what this could be about. "Yes?" she asked impatiently.

"Well, we have this young man down here who asked if we could call you and let you know he is here."

"Well you is he?" Dawn asked. What was left of her good nature was ebbing away with each passing second.

"The thing is, he is on our records as a missing person, presumed deceased."

"Did you say, missing?" Dawn asked slowly, not daring to hope.

"Yes, about 10 years ago.."

Dawn felt her heart jump. Was it too much to ask? "Xander.." she whispered into the mouthpiece, more to here the sound of his name, then to ask the inspector if that is who he was talking about.

"Umm..Yes. Harris, Xander. Could I ask you.." But all the inspector heard was the sound of the disconnect beep. 

By the time the Inspector had hung up his phone, Dawn was halfway out of her driveway.

***********

The sound of Xander's laugh worried Dawn. It sounded like he was going to collapse under the shock of what he had seen. Letting go of his chest, she led him to the chairs, and sat him down. 

Kneeling before him, Dawn took his hands in hers. As she looked up at him, she really focussed on his face. She marveled at how he looked exactly like the 

last time she had seen him. 

"Xander, I know this is weird for you, actually it is weird for me too" she added, smiling when she saw it got a little recognition from Xander in the form of an upturned edge of his lips. "I'll go and talk to this guy and see if I can take you home, okay?"

Xander simply nodded, then watched her get up and walk towards the door, where Fletcher had been observing them. He shook his head at how much Dawn had grown. He estimated she was 5 foot 7. He could tell it was her. Especially when she smiled at him, but he also knew that the Dawn he knew was in the past. 

"Miss, what is going on. You seem to know him, but he didn't recognise you?" Fletcher asked, when Dawn stepped outside.

"We haven't seen each other in along time," Dawn answered evasively. She needed to think of a cover story quick.

"I'll say. It says here he disappeared over ten years ago."

"That was when we last saw him. Maybe he just had to get away for a while." Even Dawn didn't think that would fly, but on the other hand did they really have any reason to hold Xander here.

"And not let anyone know?" Fletcher asked, thinking that there was something more to this that a simple reunion. 

"That's where the 'wanting to get away' part came in I think." Dawn's reply had a little bit of scorn in it. She had developed a healthy dislike of the Sunnydale PD, when Buffy had had problems during her High School years. "If there isn't anything else I will be taking my friend with me," Dawn stated. 

"I'm afraid there is a lot of questions to be answered first... ," Fletcher tried to start, before Dawn interrupted him.

"Not tonight." Dawn said immediately, before pausing and talking with a more conciliatory tone. "Surely he can come home for the night and you can ask him questions when tomorrow. Unless I am mistaken you don't have any warrants on him at all." 

Fletcher took a deep breath. He had no real reason to hold Harris, apart from curiosity. The complaint from the lady had no real substance and he had the feeling that Harris wouldn't be running anywhere. At least before tomorrow.

"Okay. I ring tomorrow. My advice is not to let him leave before then."

Dawn took a quick peek at Xander, before flashing a grin at Fletcher. "Don't worry. I won't let him go again." 

***************

The ride back to Summers Central had been quiet. Xander seemed to be still coming to grips with the ten year gap in his life, while Dawn was till trying to work out how to tell Xander about those missing years. 

So instead she sat in silence, always acutely aware that Xander kept turning and looking at her, as if she could make it all right. 

Pulling up at her place, Dawn got out of the car and waited for Xander to follow her, before she went up to unlock the front door. 

She turned to face him and saw that once more he was staring at her. Dawn quickly turned back around, not wanting to face that glare right now.

"I'm freaking you out, aren't I?" Xander asked.

Dawn almost missed the question in her joy at him actually talking to her. "No...well a bit. But I understand."

She reached up and unlocked the door, letting Xander walk in first. "You know where everything is, I'll be back in a minute," she said motioning him towards the living room.

Xander looked around the living room of the Summers house, looking at it like along lost friend. Even thought to him he had been in it less that 24 hours earlier, the differences in the room made the ten-year difference seem more real. 

He moved over to the mantle piece and smiled, seeing pictures of himself, Buffy, Joyce and Giles there. He noticed there was the odd pictures, of Willow and other Scooby Gang members, even Anya. Most of them were new to him, obviously being taken after he disappeared. On the other side there were some pictures of other people that Xander didn't recognise.

He picked up a picture of Buffy and Willow. It was definitely taken after he had left, but judging by their looks not that long after. A year or two at most. He smiled, looking at the two of them laughing, almost picturing them in his mind's eye.

"Hey, you want a drink," Dawn asked from the hallway, breaking Xander out of his reminiscing.

"What," Xander turned around, before stopping and staring at her. After a couple of seconds, her realised he was doing it again. "Sorry," he stated, bowing his head, before lifting it again and looking Dawn straight in the eyes. "It's just..wow, you look so....well, old" Xander offered the last part, apologetically, but it was what he felt. 

"Hey!" Dawn protested as she moved closer to him. Her grin telling him she was only kidding. "You'll get use to it. Well at least I hope you will. I can't really change back." Her last comment hadn't had much affect on Xander, who had turned back and picked up a picture of Anya. Seeing him pick up Anya's picture, so delicately, Dawn suddenly realised he may start asking questions she didn't want to answer. 

"Drink?" she asked hoping to break his chain of thought.

"Yeah," Xander replied, thinking he was being a little bit rude. Dawn may be twenty-four, and he may be 10 years out of whack, but this was still her house and he was her guest. He placed Anya's picture back from where he got it and followed to the kitchen. 

"So, you live here by yourself?" he asked.

The relief that Dawn felt over the fact he had followed and wanted to talk, vanished quickly as she knew her answer would throw up obvious follow up questions from Xander. She was glad she wasn't facing him when he asked. Her body language would have been a dead give away, that it wasn't something she really wanted to talk about. No matter how much she knew she would have to. He had 10 years to fill in. And she was the one who would have to do that. 

"Yeah," she replied still facing away from him. 

"Where's Buffy? Is she married with a couple of kids, waiting to meeting their Uncle Xander?" Xander asked, trying to lighten the mood he felt he had created.

"She moved away about six years ago, when the Hellmouth finally closed. A new threat opened in San Francisco, so Buffy, Giles, Anya and Willow decided to move their to combat it." 

"Wow, I noticed that it seemed safer here. She finally did it," he added with admiration. He closed his eyes and felt the pride he had for her flow through him. "She must have thought it was safe to leave you here?"

"Yeah. I was about to start University and I had my own friends to hang with." Dawn replied.

"And Anya went with them." Xander commented. He felt it strange to ask, as he couldn't really expect her to be faithful to him. Especially as they would have had no idea if he was coming back. But for his own curiosities sake he had to know. "So is Anya, around or with anyone?"

"No we lost contact we her four years ago," Dawn replied a little too mater of fact like. 

"Oh," Xander sadly replied. 

Dawn could here the pain in his voice, and turned around to face him. His eyes showed how much that news had hurt him, and Dawn felt callous for the way she had blurted it out. "I'm sorry. It's just that for me it's so long ago. I didn't think."

"That for me it is like coming home from work to find out your girlfriend has disappeared." Xander continued, stating how it felt for him. "She never left any contact details?"

"No," Dawn said quietly. "It wasn't the best of times for any of us."

There was something in Dawns voice, that Xander dreaded. He knew instinctively that he wasn't going to like what she said next, though he also couldn't stop her. He had to know.

"It wasn't just in Sunnydale that she stopped the demons," Dawn stated, before adding, "she stopped them all." 

"Wow!" Xander exclaimed. "I've gotta call her. I know it's late, but could you give me her number?" 

As Xander said those words, he watched Dawn's face fall. She didn't have to tell him anymore. He could see the tears forming at the sides of her eyes. Reigning in his own emotions he reached out and took her into his arms. She may be older than him, but Xander could not stand to see Dawn upset. He had seen it way too much, and it hurt him inside when she cried. 

"I'm sorry," she squeaked out.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about. She died stopping them, didn't she?"

Dawn just nodded.

Xander nodded silently as well. 

Which lasted for five seconds, when he no longer could hold in his emotions. 

End Part Four


	5. Part Five

Part Five

Xander fought the urge to vomit as the smell of decaying flesh filled his nostrils. He had witnessed death in his lifetime, but that was child's play compared to what he saw in front of his eyes now. The remains of all these people, cut up like a butcher had prepared them for a meal, were left where they fell, as if no one could be bothered to bury them.

Carefully stepping through the maze of bodies, Xander tried not to step on any of them. It was the one respectful thing he could do for them at present. Suddenly, as if the battle had stopped at a certain point, the ground was bare again, the smell less pungent, and the atmosphere less dense. Xander came to a fork in the paths. He was going to investigate down the left, when the sound of metal crashing onto cement took his attention.

He walked quickly over to where the sound was coming from, and froze when he saw the sight in front of him. The beast was huge, at least 20 feet high. Its four arms were all in the shapes of blades, each over ten feet long. The scissors movement they did, made the ground around it an automatic killing field. 

Xander had his answer to what had killed the people he saw, but he had no idea how to stop it. Thinking it would be best to get help, he turned to go, when suddenly he heard the gasp of a female.

Turning around quickly he faced the creature, when he saw who had made the sound.

"Buffy" Xander whispered, not believing what he was seeing. 

A quick slash of its arms and Buffy jumped away safely. Xander at once breathed a sigh of relief, and shouted, "Buffy!"

Buffy heard the scream and was shocked to see who had said it. "Xander?" she asked confused.

It was a fatal mistake. In that second when Buffy had turned away, the creature took its chance and brought down one of its arms, slicing Buffy in two.

**************

"Buffy!" Xander screamed as he woke from a very unsettled sleep. He tossed and turned, until he realised that it had all been a dream, and he hadn't witnessed the death of his friend. He reached up and grabbed his head in his hands and sobbed. He felt so useless. To be told the friend he had spent a great part of his last five years helping and protecting died and there wasn't anything he could do about it, wasn't sitting well with him.

The door to his room burst open, and in the silhouette he saw the outline of Dawn as she came into the room, taking a seat on the bed next to him. 

"Xander, are you okay?" 

In the dark, Xander could almost think Dawn was still the same little girl he would have risked anything to help. Her voice hadn't changed that much in the intervening 10 years. But the sound of concern in her voice was new. It was the sound of an adult. 

"Umm, I'm fine," Xander replied, a little uncomfortable when she put her arm around him. Although Dawn was wearing some sort of sleeping attire, Xander had only his boxer shorts, and he was starting to feel decidedly weird. He moved slightly away from her, just trying to get some distance between them "Just a bad dream," he added.

Dawn frowned, feeling a little hurt by Xander's movement. All she wanted to do was make sure he was okay. After ten years, it was the least she could do. It was also what she wanted to do. She had dreamt for so long that Xander would come back into their lives. Then after everyone moved away, she hoped he would return to her. It was an attachment to when things were better, that she didn't want to lose.

"I thought you shouted Buffy?"

"What? Oh yeah, you know Buffy was fighting things in the dream," Xander replied, not really wanting to get into things now. It may have been 5 years ago for Dawn, but for Xander it was painfully fresh. "I'll be okay. Can we talk in the morning?"

"Sure," Dawn replied, feeling as though Xander couldn't talk to her. "I'll see you then."

Xander watched Dawn leave and close the door. He knew she had been upset, and he also knew that she was only trying to help. But he needed a little time to digest the fact that he had lost 10 years, let alone the death of one of his best friends. 

Not to mention that last night he had spent a particularly vigorous night with Anya, his girlfriend who he loved dearly, whom 10 years ago was told he had died. Now Dawn said no one had any news on where she was. Not to mention the fact the Scooby Gang hardly saw each other any more. Things hadn't turned out how they had wished ten years ago.

Xander rolled over and looked out the window, knowing that he had very little chance of getting to sleep for the rest of the night.

****************

Dawn lay in bed, staring at the ceiling wondering exactly what she did that was so wrong. She understood that Xander would be a little out of it. He had a 10-year gap to get used to. But the hurt she felt when he moved away from her, was more than she thought she could feel. 

He had wanted to find out all about his missing years, that night, but apart from the main details, Dawn had convinced him to wait until the morning. His dream was no doubt inspired from what she had told him, and maybe she should have stayed up all night, but Xander looked like he needed sleep.

Dawn remembered the early months after Buffy's death, when she would wake up crying. When the littlest thing would set her off. Many a time Giles would come into her room and comfort her. It was a sacrifice she loved him for, especially when his own pain was just as great, if not greater. She was sure that she lost some friends by her moods over those times. But she also knew she shut people out. She was determined not to let Xander to the same thing. 

And that was all she wanted to do now. For ten years she kept hoping that by some miracle she would see him again. She had overheard Giles and Angel talking about it. They weren't hopeful, but they did say there was a chance. It was that hope that she hung onto. It was that hope that got her through his disappearance. It was that hope that made her able to survive Buffy's sacrifice. And it was that hope that kept her strength up when the Scooby Gang splintered and moved away from Sunnydale.

'And he didn't want me to get close to him,' Dawn thought as she continued staring at the ceiling. 

***************

Dawn opened her eyes with a start, getting the impression that she was late for something. Looking at the bedside clock, it was only 7.18am. 

'Not too late by any means,' she thought as she swung her legs off the bed and got up. She was still troubled by last night, and she also knew that Xander would want the whole story today. 

After she got herself out of bed, she grabbed a robe and tied it around her body. Checking herself in the mirror, she saw that the bed had concocted a wonderful hairstyle for her. Rolling her eyes, but not particularly worried about it, she opened the door to her room and stepped outside. When she entered the hallway, she noticed that the door to Xander's room was open. She wandered over to it and called out. 

"Xander?" 

When she didn't get any answer, she stuck her head in the doorway. The bed was made, and the room was empty. Shrugging to herself, she moved to the stairs, thinking that Xander was probably making breakfast or something. 

When she got to the kitchen she found it too was empty. 

"Xander," she called out a little louder this time.

As each second passed she started to get a little more nervous. What if he had freaked, and left. What if...well Dawn didn't want to go any further down that line of thought.

She was about to rush out to her car, not really knowing where he would be, when she saw a note, attached to the fridge front door. 

She picked it up and read it.

[Dear Dawn,]

She laughed at the little face he drew after her name, exactly like he used to do 10 years ago.

[I couldn't sleep. There are a couple of people I need to see. Didn't want to wake you. Don't worry, will be back soon

love X]

Dawn realised almost immediately where he would be going. It was something he had to do by himself and it wasn't a place for her. She hoped it would help him.

********************

Xander reached down and placed a single flower on top of the gravestone. He looked down at the inscription.

Buffy Summers

1981-2006

Beloved Sister, Daughter, Friend.

He also noticed a smaller inscription on the bottom of the plaque.

"She gave so everyone was safe"

Xander shut his eyes, and replaying his memories of Buffy Summers. The headstone may say 2006, but to Xander it was yesterday. The pain that throbbed through his being was new. It was raw. It was bigger than anything he had ever felt before. The hole in his heart wouldn't close and his whole body ached for one last chance to see her.

Xander dropped to his knees, virtually collapsing on the gravesite. "Oh God, Buffy!" he sobbed, "I'm so sorry I wasn't there."

*****************

Dawn looked up expectantly when the she heard the door open. A few seconds later Xander entered the kitchen and sat down next to her. It was obvious that he had been crying, and Dawn's heart went out to him. However after last night, she didn't approach him. She knew it made him uncomfortable and she didn't need to feel rejected like last night. 

"Coffee?" she asked instead.

Xander merely nodded, hating the fact that he couldn't take care of Dawn. She was taking care of him. He graciously took the coffee from her and took a sip, enjoying the bitter taste as he swallowed. 

He took a deep breath. Part of him didn't want to know, but the bigger part, needed to. He wouldn't have any peace until he did.

"Could you tell me about it?" he asked

Dawn leaned forward, knowing this was coming. "What part?"

"All of it."

End of Part Five


	6. Part Six

Part Six

May 2006

Dawn bounded down the stairs of her home, eager to get rid of whoever was at the door. She had plans this evening and anyone interrupting them was seriously going to be in her bad books.

Reaching the door, she opened it and started to show her displeasure, "This better be good..." when she noticed who was there.

"Giles!" she squealed before jumping up and wrapping her arms around him. Her plans be damned. She hadn't seen Giles for almost two months. The evil in the world, now being centered around San Francisco, kept Buffy and Giles there most of the time. She had seen Buffy for a day a fortnight ago, but Giles had to stay in 'Cisco that time. Now she had her two closest family members there. 

She moved her head back, looking for the smiling features of her sister, but saw no one else on the landing. Surprised, but not shocked, after all Buffy may be involved in some important stuff at the present, Dawn looked at Giles for an answer.

One look at Giles face was all that she needed to know. The most horrible sense of Deja-vu flowed through her body, as she instantly remembered, Buffy holding her in the corridor of Sunnydale Junior High, and the looks on Buffy and Giles face when they came home five years ago.

Giles didn't say anything. He didn't have to. 

***************

August 2011

Xander leaned over and grabbed Dawn around her shoulders and pulled her towards his chest. His need to protect her over-riding all other feelings at that moment. He knew she needed the warmth, after having relived what she had done this morning. But more than that, he needed it as well. He may have cried himself dry at her gravesite earlier, but the pain was still there, and emotional attachment he and Dawn shared, to fill that hole. Maybe only a small percentage, but it helped.

It was the greatest fear that all of the Scooby Gang had. They never mentioned it, but Xander could tell they all thought about it. The look in Willow's eyes, or Giles' when Buffy got hurt. Those were the looks of relief. The relief that this time she didn't die. Buffy was the slayer. Maybe the greatest ever, but they all had a shelf life. None of them had ever retired, even if that possibility existed. In one way Buffy had surpassed all expectations by living as long as she did.

Then something in Xander snapped. He broke out of Dawn's embrace and slammed his fist on the table. Dawn recoiled in shock, wondering what had changed the 'care giving' Xander, to the one that was in front of her.

Xander turned and looked at her, noticing she seemed to be half-confused and half-angry with him. He realised he must have come off like a typical meat head, and sat back down again.

"I'm sorry."

Dawn looked at him closer, almost as if she was trying to read his mind. Her eyes closed, her lips tensed.

"What?" Xander asked.

"Don't you think I should be asking that?" She replied, still fixing him firmly in her stare.

"And you thought by staring at me I would crack?" Xander retorted, a little amused by the idea.

Dawn stopped staring and relaxed, shaking her head. "It used to work when I was younger. You could never refuse my 'look'"

Xander smiled remembering some of the stare down contests he had shared with Dawn. It was a good memory, one that he needed. "Thank you," he said sincerely.

Dawn simply nodded, not needing any explanation of what he was saying thanks for. She knew. 

"I can't believe that I was sitting here logically thinking about Buffy's death, as if it was this great achievement to live as long as she did," Xander explained his earlier outburst. "I think I want to be sick," he continued revolted at how he had starting thinking. "I don't want think of Buffy in a calm logical manner. I want to be angry."

"Will it do any good?" Dawn asked, grateful that the buffer of five years gave her the smallest of perspectives to comment.

"I think I'll feel better," Xander replied, quietly.

Dawn got up and gave Xander a squeeze on his shoulder. "Well, if it makes you feel better, be angry," she told him without any hint of sarcasm. 

"Huh?" Xander replied, having expected a different response.

"Maybe being angry is better. I just shut down."

"But what about the rest of the gang. Didn't they help you?" Xander asked amazed at the suggestion that they could have left Buffy's little sister alone.

Dawn filled up their cups with another serving of coffee while answering. "They were here, trying to deal with their own pain." 

Dawn looked over and smiled at Xander. "You forget that I was 19 then. I wasn't a little girl anymore."

"But what about Giles?.." Xander trailed off. He didn't need to be told how Giles would be. 

"Giles was never the same. He stayed around for a while, I think trying to fulfill a duty to Buffy by making sure I was okay. But this town was full of too many memories for him. He had to leave, so four years ago, he went back to England. I still hear from him occasionally, but he isn't the same. Something died in him that day as well."

Xander only nodded. The love Giles had for Buffy may have gotten him into trouble with the Watcher's Council, but it was one of the things that made Buffy different from other Slayers. It was there for all to see, and he could only guess at what pain he felt. Xander was sure he would never know how Giles felt, unless he was ever to face the horrible situation of losing his own child. And that was something he didn't ever want to learn.

He remembered when Joyce died, the pain and sorrow the whole gang had. But they helped each other through it all. It was the strength they had as a family that made the loss, bearable. He wondered how Dawn made it though when Buffy died, if everyone left. 

"What happened to the gang?" he asked softly, dreading the news of anyone else's death.

"After the grieving was over, or maybe before it was given enough time to be over, none of us knew what to do. I shut down, stayed in my room and almost flunked out of college." Noticing the look of worry that Xander gave her, she re-assured him, "don't worry, I made it through. Just."

"Pretty much straight after the funeral service, Angel just disappeared. He left me a note saying he didn't think any of it was worth it. Cordelia told me he did say goodbye to her and Wesley, but she had no idea as to where he was."

"I still speak to Cordelia, every now and again. She is in LA with Wesley, running their own protection agency for the stars."

Xander had to laugh. It sounded just perfect for them. "I'm glad you still talk to someone. What about Willow?"

"Willow and Tara wanted to get away. Much like Giles, there were too many memories. They moved to Seattle, but broke up a short time later. I never really found out why. For some reason we just lost contact."

Xander nodded, but didn't say anything. There was only one other person to ask about and he was dreading it. "You said no-one has heard from Anya?"

"Anya went with Cordelia and Wesley to LA. She really felt lost here. I know she stayed on as a way to honour what she thought you would want her to do, but after Buffy died that didn't seem like a reason to stay in Sunnydale. Cordelia offered her the chance to come and work with them. I understood why she left, but I never heard from her again. Cordelia rang me a few months later, wanting to know if Anya had turned up in Sunnydale. She had just disappeared from LA."

Xander moved his hands to his face, forming them into fists. He wanted to take the hurt away, but had no way of doing it. He let them down, before looking at Dawn and motioning for her to continue. 

"No-one has had any contact with Anya since." Dawn saw that Xander was close to losing it again. She mentally chastised herself for forgetting that Xander was 'with' Anya only 48 hours ago, in his own mind.

"We have no reason to think anything bad happened to her," Dawn added, hoping that it might be a little re-assuring. 

Unfortunately for Xander, it was just another piece of evidence that was piling up in his guilt column. He had not been able to stop any of this. Logically he knew he couldn't, but logic had taken a holiday earlier in the conversation. His friends had all lost a bit of their soul when Buffy died. And without it, the Scooby Gang was no more. 

The only consolation that Xander had, was that most of them were still alive, and in the case of Cordelia, was still in contact with Dawn. He really needed to call her. 

But not right now. He needed a few hours to clear his head. He knew that talking on the phone to people who believed him dead wouldn't be the easiest proposition in the world, and he wanted a little, well as close as he could get do, normalcy first.

Looking down, it was only then that he realised that the clothes he had on were all the clothing he had. He then realised for the first time, that his possession would be gone and that he had no job. He hoped hat his savings were still intact. He hadn't given Anya joint access to his account. Not for any 'mean' reason, he just didn't think they were at that stage yet.

"I was never declared dead was I?" he asked, hoping that if not he would have some money available in his account.

Dawn looked at him with surprise, seeing that he had changed the subject on her. "No, just missing. Why?"

"Feel like a trip to the mall? I think I need some new dud's"

Dawn giggled a little, a sound that was like music to Xander's ears. "Did you really say Dud's?"

Xander had no grin at that. "I'm sure you will fill me in on what I should be saying later." 

It had been all and all a depressing morning, and he hated to see anyone, let alone Dawn upset for that long. Her little giggle was a sign that she was okay, and it improved Xander's own disposition greatly.

"Well, only if I pick out some stuff. You have no idea what is in fashion," Dawn said as she walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs, to get changed. 

"Some would say I never did," Xander yelled back at her.

***************

The trip to the mall had been fun, if interesting distraction for Xander. He had, had a couple of uncomfortable moments at the bank, trying to convince them that he had just returned from a ten year overseas job. He doubted they believed his explanation for his youthful appearance though. Saying he had found a miracle skin lotion, which he was hoping to market back in the US, was pushing it just a little. Thankfully after the bank checked that his signature matched they excepted him as Alexander Harris. A few minutes later Xander was issued with new cards, and upon checking his account, he was pleasantly surprised to see what even minimal interest could do to his savings in ten years. Not that he could afford to buy a home, even at year 2000 prices, but he had enough to keep himself out of trouble for the time being.

Dawn, he was sure, had spent just as much on herself, as he had. Never mind the fact she had a wardrobe of clothes at home. She was at the mall, and damned if she would let such an occasion go by. 

Xander wasn't sure about all the clothes she recommended, but then again if you got a hippie and tried to convince him that 15 years later, people would be wearing fluro coloured tops, with stretch tight jeans, he would think you were crazy. 

'Come to think of it, I think they were crazy,' Xander thought, remembering some hideous early 80's music videos he had once seen. 

The outing to the Mall, had served a greater purpose. It gave them both a break from the reality of the situation. Xander for one was glad. He had to get used to the time jump, but he also needed to connect with people. And you could only do that while doing normal things. He also hated having to put Dawn through what must be painful memories. Even though he knew there would probably be more later on, for now he welcomed the break. 

As they walked back into, and it took Xander a second to remember it was hers, Dawn's house, Xander went straight upstairs to put the clothes in his room. He had wondered if he should be looking for a place to live, but decided that he wouldn't bring that up for a couple of days. He got the impression Dawn wouldn't be receptive to that request, which he understood. 

After hearing how she got deserted after Buffy's death, he now understood why there were so few pictures of people he didn't know in the living room. She didn't seem to make friends easily after that. He also knew that he wasn't just a long lost friend. But a link to something that was lost. And the funny thing was, Xander saw her the same. Dawn was his link to his past. 

As he came down the stairs, Xander called out for Dawn. "Hey, is Cordelia's number in your phone book?"

Dawn popped her head around the corner of the hallway. "Yeah. You gonna call her?"

Xander shrugged a little. "Since you have been in contact with her more than any other, I thought it was a good place to start."

Dawn simply nodded. "Try her work number first. It's her personal number. She may not have finished work yet."

Xander gave her a smile in thanks, then picked up the personal phone book and looked in it for 'Chase'. Finding her number he picked up the handset, and started dialing, pausing for a moment when he realised there was two extra numbers to dial these days. Shaking his head, and pushing down on the reset button, he dialed again.

Xander waited as the phone started ringing at the other end, then after four or five rings, it was answered.

"Chase and Price Agency, can I help you?" the voice at the other end of the phone answered.

It didn't take Xander long to realise whose voice it was. He would remember that tone for the rest of his life. Like Buffy's, Willow's, Anya's, Tara's and Dawn's, he tended to remember the girls he cared about. 

"Cordy," he simply stated, not really knowing how to re-introduce himself. He thought that he should have taken up Dawn's suggestion of her ringing them first.

"What..." Cordelia replied, before pausing, as if trying to remember the voice she heard. Xander thought that she must have worked it out, when he heard a choked cry and sniffle before she spoke again.

"Xander?"

End Part Six


	7. Part Seven

Part Seven

Dawn watched the reflection as she ran the brush through her hair. She loved her long hair, but at times like this she seriously thought about getting it chopped back. As she was drawing the brush down for the umpteenth time, she noticed out of the corner of her eye some movement behind her. She moved her head to the side and noticed with some amusement that Xander seemed to be having trouble working out what to wear. He walked into the bathroom, obviously to see what he looked like, as his room had no mirror, and obviously wasn't happy with the result.

She started to brush her hair again, thinking about what today might bring. Even though she had shared a very enjoyable outing to the mall yesterday with Xander, he seemed to clam up later that evening. She wondered if it was the thought of seeing other old friends again. Or maybe it was because the number Dawn had for Willow was now disconnected. Whatever the reason, Xander didn't seem to want to talk about it to Dawn last night. 

Not that Dawn let it worry her that much. She had no idea what he was going through, and if he needed some quiet time then she would let him have it. 

Dawn noticed in the reflection again, Xander walking out of his room, across the hall and entering the bathroom with a different shirt on. She waited for a few seconds before he walked out again, already having taken his shirt off. 

Over the next five minutes he did it again and again. At first Dawn found it amusing, now it was frustrating her. 

"Xander!" she half yelled for him.

She didn't turn, only waited for his presence to appear in the reflection behind her. When he did, she noticed that he had changed his clothes yet again. She was sure he had gone through everything he had bought the day before.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

Xander gave her a strange look. "Well, you were the one you yelled for me to come here, so I was sort of hoping you would tell me."

Dawn turned around and gave him one of the Summer's patented looks. The look that said, "Don't be a moron."

"Okay, so I am little nervous about what to wear," Xander admitted. "I mean I have no idea if this looks good or not."

Dawn gave him the once over, not really needing to. She had virtually decided what to buy yesterday. She knew he looked good. 

"So, were you this nervous getting ready, when you use to go out with her?" she asked.

Xander looked at himself in the mirror, rolling his head to the side, as if a different angle would make a sudden change in his opinion. "Yeah, well sometimes." He stopped and remembered one occasion. "Actually after Valentines Day in 1998, I decided not to dress up to much. Getting dumped when you look good, changed my outlook for a few years."

"Xander, I doubt she will notice what you are wearing. She'll be too excited to see you."

Xander found the opportune time to return the 'Summer's look'.

Dawn laughed. "Okay, but I bet it isn't for at least 10 minutes."

****************

"I'll get it," Xander said as he heard the doorbell ring. He walked steadily down the stairs, trying to keep his nerves under control. The thing was, unlike Dawn, who he had seen practically every day before he disappeared, he had only seen Cordelia twice since they graduated High School. She may have not seen him for ten years, but Xander felt a similar sensation on the prospect of seeing her. The reality was however they each had no idea what the other was like anymore. Xander hoped that would be different in the future. 

He also hoped that maybe she had some idea of what happened to Anya. Not that he planned that to be the first question out of his mouth. He didn't want to depress the whole day. 

Taking a deep breath, he opened the door, his smile widening in time with the doorway. They may look a little older, but Xander had doubt that standing in front of him was Cordelia Chase and Wesley Wyndham Pryce. He would have offered them to come in, but was unable to as Cordelia virtually jumped on him, wrapping her arms around Xander and squeezing him tight. 

As Xander returned the embrace, he took a moment to savoir the feel of Cordelia again. Not in any sexual way. It was just a way of connecting himself to the situation he found himself in. Now into his third day in the 'teens' ( a name which Xander thought was terribly un-inspired for the second decade of the century), he had, at least on a conscious level gotten used to the fact he was now the youngest looking 30 year old in Sunnydale. But his autopilot still was set 10 years ago. 

After a few seconds of resting his head on Cordelia's shoulder, he looked up and saw Wesley looking a little uncomfortable. They had never had the best relationship, but Xander didn't want that to be a factor today. 

He gave him a welcoming smile. "Hi Wesley." Not he most inspired of welcoming, he realised, but it was all he could up with in the present situation. 

"Xander.." Wesley started, before stopping. "Somehow, saying it is good to see you is a little redundant. However, for the want of something better, It is good to see you."

Xander chuckled a little. Wesley may be a protector of the stars, but he was still the wordsmith. "Umm, Cordy," Xander said as she started to disengage him arms. He looked down at her face and could tell she had been crying. "How about we go inside?"

Cordelia looked up at him and nodded. "I still can't believe its you"

"Take it from me, from my side there is a lot harder things to get used to," Xander replied, offering his hand, now that it was free, to Wesley, who shook it warmly.

Xander looked at both of them, studying what they looked like, 10 years on. The years had been good to both of them. "It's so good to see you both," Xander said, before motioning them inside.

As they entered the room, Dawn came down the stairs, glad to have let Xander have his re-union by himself. 

"Hey," she called out as she got to the bottom.

Cordelia reached over and grabbed Dawn in a hug, "It's been too long," she said softly to her. 

"Yeah," Dawn replied, knowing that until Xander returned, Sunnydale held little good memories for Cordelia. They had talked about it a few times, whenever Dawn approached the idea of Cordelia moving back. Cordelia was adamant that it was something she never thought she could do. After her and Wesley's business started, Dawn stopped asking her. She knew Cordelia would be a LA girl and that was the end of that.

Eventually they had all moved out onto the back landing, where Dawn had set up a BBQ area last summer. Dawn watched with interest, Xander interact with Cordelia and Wesley. It amazed her how naturally they talked back and forth. They started to swap stories, and even though most of them came from Cordelia, she after all had 10 years worth, Xander listen to each one. He looked for Wesley's comments, made a few of his own, and within 10 minutes it was hard to believe that he had been away at all.

Dawn was a little jealous on how easy they were all talking. Xander seemed so much more comfortable with them, Dawn couldn't help to feel a little upset. It was as if the fact she was twenty-four made no difference. 

Xander didn't see the girl that finished high School with better than expected results. He didn't see the girl that got her degree in Journalism, even with all of the tragic events of her sophomore year. As far as Dawn could tell, all Xander saw was the same girl he used to baby-sit. 

"Umm, anyone want a drink?" Dawn said, interrupting the conversation.

She was answered with a round of yes's and got up to grab them. 

Dawn's silence did not go un-noticed by Cordelia. She was wondering what was wrong, and this gave her the perfect opportunity. 

"I'll help," she said, leaving Xander and Wesley to talk amongst themselves.

Xander watched them go, before turning back to Wesley. "You seem happy together?" he asked genuinely.

"Yes, we are. Thank you," Wesley replied. 

"Do you mind if I ask you some stuff?" Xander requested. He had stopped asking Dawn questions, feeling that she had been through enough. He hated to see her upset, and each question he asked about those years tendered to have sad answers.

'Not at all," Wesley replied leaning forward a little, giving Xander his full attention.

"Dawn told me pretty much everything, but there were a couple of questions." Seeing that Wesley just nodded, Xander continued. "Do you have any idea what happened to Anya?"

Wesley closed his eyes and inwardly cursed. It had slipped his mind that Xander would want to know about Anya. He only wished that he had better news. "We never found out where she went or why. I think she was searching for a reason for living. We tried to make her feel welcome, but, well as you know we all had our own pain to deal with."

Xander nodded in silence. It was no worse than what he expected. He hoped that she found some peace, and a reason to live. And who knows, maybe one day...

"What about Angel?"

At the sound of his former boss's name, Wesley took off his glasses and wiped them on his shirt. The four of them had been through so much, it still hurt that he had not seen his friend for five years. "I don't know. He came to us after we got back from Buffy's funeral, and simply told us that he didn't think it was worth it."

Xander looked confused at the quote. "Dawn said he told her the same thing," he stated hoping Wesley would fill in the gaps.

"He was human," Wesley stated, realising that Dawn had probably not even known.

"Human?" Xander replied amazed at such a revelation. 

"It was prophesied that once Angle had stopped the coming apocalypse, he would be rewarded with the gift of becoming human. So after the demons were defeated in San Francisco, Angel was rewarded. I think in his heart he thought he would be able to spend the rest of his life with Buffy."

"But she died," Xander stated softly.

Wesley nodded. "So I think he wondered what it was all for. The years of fighting." Wesley couldn't hide some of his anger in his voice. "We all wondered how the 'Powers that Be' could have used him, us like that."

Xander could only nod. Angel was never his favourite person, but he had come to understand him a little. And the one thing he never doubted was his love for Buffy. "Have you heard from him at all?"

"No. Why do you ask?"

Xander shrugged. "It was just something Dawn said. Apparently Angel and Giles were trying to find out what happened to me. Just curious to know if they found anything."

"Not that I know of," Wesley replied, intrigued by question. "Have you spoken to Giles?"

Xander shook his head. "I will in a few days."

*****************

Cordelia watched the two men talk to each other out the window. She was glad to see them getting on so well. To be honest she was ecstatic that the re-union had gone so well. She had pictured it being rather awkward. But after the first couple of minutes, they started talking and hadn't stopped since. She turned back to face Dawn, who was grabbing some drinks out of the fridge.

"So, does it seem real to you. Cause I'm still floating with the news," she said.

Dawn placed the bottles on the bench before answering. "Still not real."

Cordelia frowned at Dawn's response. It lacked almost any enthusiasm. "Okay, what's up?"

"What do you mean?" Dawn replied innocently not meeting Cordelia's gaze. 

"You and your, oh so not 'jumping up and down cause Xander is alive' attitude." Cordelia replied standing with one hand on her hip.

Dawn stopped what she was doing and faced her interrogator. "Believe me I am jumping up and down still," she replied with a little smile.

Seeing the smile, Cordelia softened her posture and voice. "So what's the sitch?"

"It's just me being silly no doubt." Dawn answered, before pausing, taking a deep breath. "I'm jealous." Seeing the look Cordelia gave her she added, "I know it's pathetic."

"What are you jealous of?" Cordelia asked, not expecting that answer. 

"I know it's being selfish, but he was out there talking away the years to you and Wesley like he had never been gone, and when he is with me, it is usually going over some horrible occurrence in the past, or kidding around."

Cordelia frowned. "But that is good isn't it. That he can talk to you about that stuff."

"Yeah, but I want him to be able to talk to me. Not about what happened, but just talk. Like friends do."

Cordelia sighed. This was something she was a little concerned about. She had talked to Dawn about Xander a lot over the years and she always wondered just how much Dawn was living on the dream of Xander returning. The fact that Dawn made very few friends, and the ones she did were never that serious, always worried Cordelia. And now when all of her dreams had happened, she found out it wasn't what she expected.

"You have to remember Xander and I grew up together. We may not have liked each other for a lot of that time, but we are familiar with each other..."

"But I was here for the last five years.." Dawn protested.

"And you were nine years old at the start. It's a little different," Cordelia interrupted carefully. 

"I know," Dawn replied, not for the first time cursing the fact she had to be so young back then. "I'm just...well, I suppose I wanted it to be easy. Not really living in reality there was I?"

"No," Cordy laughed. "But he has only been back for a few days. He will need you in the weeks ahead. He has to adjust to a lot more than we do. Just be his friend by giving him the space he needs."

"I know. I'm just so happy to have him back."

Cordelia grasped Dawn's hand. "You and me both, kiddo" she said affectionately.

Dawn rolled her eyes at Cordy's use of her old nickname for her. 

"So," Cordelia started changing the subject, "did you dress Xander, or does time travel give you taste?" Cordelia asked.

Dawn just burst out laughing.

End Part Seven


	8. Part Eight

Part Eight

December 2011

Driving through the city streets of Sunnydale, Xander Harris felt on top of the world. It had been just over four months since he had arrived back in Sunnydale. Finally in the last couple of months he had started to feel back at home. 

He had never moved out of the spare room at Dawn's house. He felt comfortable there, and she never gave the slightest indication that she wanted him to move out. So instead he started looking after the house. Doing all of the general housework, fixing up the gardens, building little things for the place and preparing dinner for Dawn when she got home from her new job.

But a week ago, Xander came to the realisation that his savings, such as they were, had started to dwindle to the level of nothing. He had to get a job. That worried him a great deal. The career in the building industry was over ten years ago, and even if they counted that experience, he was sure it was all out of date to be of any use. 

It was on one of his trips into town to check the employment boards that Xander's luck changed. He almost literally ran into an old work mate of his. Of course that meant he had another person to tell about where exactly he had been for 10 years. The mountains of Peru had become the favourite scenario for Xander's explanation of the last decade. So after recounting his exploits, and having given ample time for the initial shock to die down, Xander asked what his friend had been up to. He felt like screaming thank-you to the gods, when his friend informed him that had his own business in the construction industry and was actually at the employment office looking for new employees. 

The new job was starting on Monday and all his friend wanted to know was if he was free. So they went to lunch at one of the local hotel's, caught up over old times and hashed out a pay deal and benefits. After it was all done, Xander had only one thought. He wanted to get home and let Dawn no the good news. 

Pulling up at her house, he applied the handbrake and turned the engine off, virtually skipping out of the car and up the path to the front door. He hoped she would be home by now, as having to wait for Dawn to come home would kill him at present. Especially as he had already decided that tonight would be the night to tell her how he was feeling.

"Dawn!" he shouted as he walked through the front door.

"I'm in the kitchen," Dawn shouted back. She had only just got home and was busy going through the mail that had arrived.

Xander placed his jacket down, and walked into the kitchen, the grin on his face as large as it was possible to be. He saw Dawn sitting at the table and if possible, he smiled even more. 

"Guess what?" he asked, standing next to her.

"Don't know, what?" Dawn replied, not looking at him, hiding her grin from his glare. It didn't take a mind reader for Dawn to know that he was dying to tell her something. She could read his mood from every different inflection in his voice. It might be a little cruel, but she wanted to see how far he would go, till he told her. It was a sort of game that Dawn loved playing with him.

Xander would have been a little put out by Dawn's display of lack of caring, if he hadn't been in such a good mood. "Common guess?" He tried again to get her attention.

"You bought me a present," Dawn replied innocently, still not looking at him, and hiding the fact she was almost laughing.

"No!" Xander said a little more exasperated. He was going to try one more time to get her too look at him, when he noticed Dawn's shoulders moving slightly up and down. He knew that sign. She was laughing and trying to hide it. Seeing as how she wasn't facing him he took a step closer to her, pacing quietly, before reaching down and tickling her around her ribs. "You think it's funny do you?" he said with a laugh.

"No, get away from me," Dawn shrieked as she tried to move out of Xander's reach and around the other side of the table. After a couple of struggles and getting a few tickles in on Xander for good measure, she managed to break free and moved to the relative safety of the other side. "You just wait Xander" she stated, not really happy that he was the one laughing at her now. 

Xander didn't notice and probably would have kept on laughing for a while longer, except he felt himself starting to hyperventilate. Taking a seat he settled himself down. The lack of breath had dulled a little of his enthusiasm. "I got myself a job," he finally sated after feeling as though he could breath well again.

Dawn, stopped joking around. She knew that Xander had been worried about getting a job, and it was no wonder he had been so excited. She moved around to the other side of the table. "Oh, Xan, that's great," she said as she moved in to give him a hug. 

Xander accepted the hug, and held onto her for a few seconds before letting go. "So anyway, I was wondering if you would like to go out and celebrate?" he asked casually.

"Of course, I would," Dawn replied. 

"How about I make reservations at Gulios?" Xander asked, speaking of their favourite Italian restaurant. 

"Sounds great. I'll go and start getting ready then." Dawn looked at Xander closely. She wasn't sure, but she almost felt that he wanted to tell her something. But after a few seconds the feeling ended so she got up to go upstairs. "I'm really happy for you Xander."

Xander watched her leave, feeling every one of his words in his heart. He shook his head. "I'm in deep trouble."

***************

As Dawn let the hot water cascade down her body, she wondered not for the first time it Xander had started to see her in a different light. She had taken Cordelia's warning to heart and toned down her need of Xander to conform to what she had expected. The greatest thing was that by doing that, the two of them really started to communicate. They started socialising together, going to movies, out to dinner. Dawn loved every minute of it. But she wondered if that was all Xander saw her as. A dear friend. Not that there was anything wrong with that. She wouldn't swap what the last few months had brought her for anything in the world. But she did wonder if maybe there was no future for the both of them. And if that was the case, maybe it was time to move on and see if there was someone else out there. 

'Yeah right, when Xander is sleeping not more that 5 metres away,' she thought, realising that unless Xander moved out, her thoughts would always be tied to him. She wondered if that was what it would take. 

She turned off the tap and reached out for a towel, drying herself off with it, before stepping out of the shower. She looked at herself in the mirror and shook her head. 

"Time to get over it girl," she told herself.

**********************

Xander had already gotten himself ready and was waiting for Dawn when she appeared at the top of the staircase. 

"Whoa," he breathed as she started down the stairs. When she reached the bottom, he added, "You look great."

Dawn smiled appreciatively at his compliment. "And yourself," she returned.

Xander took it gratefully, but he knew he had not put anywhere near the effort into getting ready as she had.

"So shall we go," Dawn said as she intertwined her arm with Xander's. 

"Sure," Xander said, having no intention of moving his arm till he had to.

********************

The dinner had been wonderful for both of them. The food of course had been magnificent, but the time they spent just idly chatting to each other had been the thing they would both remember from this night. 

For both of them it had been the catalyst for a decision that had to be made. 

As Xander pulled into the driveway, part of him didn't want this night to end. He knew that if he didn't say anything they would go inside, say goodnight and he at least would lie in bed, mentally kicking himself for not having any backbone.

He couldn't do that again. He turned to Dawn to tell her, when she opened the door on her side of the car, and got out. Xander cursed under his breath and did the same, clicking on the key lock when both doors were shut. 

He followed Dawn up the path, to the front door, a little worried as to why she seemed to be in a hurry to get inside. 

Dawn opened the door, and went through. She wanted to talk to Xander and find out what his feelings were, and the sooner they were inside the better. She placed her bag on the coffee table, and turned to see Xander had already come inside. 

He had a slightly puzzled look on his face, as if he knew she was going to say something. 

"Umm, Xander," Dawn started, not looking forward to where this conversation would be going. As much as she loved the status quo, she needed to hear form Xander's own mouth what he was feeling. Otherwise it might start to drive her crazy. 

Xander however was even less patient, than Dawn was at that moment. "Wait," he interrupted, "I have to say something, before you do."

He did however wait for Dawn to reply, which she did by nodding her head, before continuing. However now that he was put on the spot, he suddenly found the words stuck in his throat.

"Umm, Dawn," Xander started, "How about you take a seat." It was a sort of cowardly way to start, but Xander felt more comfortable with her sitting down. Maybe it was because it would take more effort for her to run away if she was sitting down, or maybe it just soothed his nerves. Xander didn't know, but when Dawn was seated he knew it was now or never. Taking a deep breath, he attempted to find the words to articulate exactly what he was feeling.

"I've been thinking about you and I, and I need to say stuff," Xander inwardly swore at his choice of phrase.

Dawn's throat refluxed, fearing the worse. 

"I, and please don't freak out, have more than friendly feelings for you," Xander said, rushing the last part and closing his eyes in case Dawn freaked out and ran out of the room screaming. That was something he didn't need to see. 

After a couple of seconds, when it became obvious that there was no screaming, he opened his eyes to find her just looking at him. He tried to decipher her feelings from that look, but this time he was unable to.

"Umm, well I'll take the fact you can still look at me as a sign you're not to weirded out." With that Xander sat down, feeling all the weight lifted off his shoulders. At least until he had told her. 

"Xan," Dawn stated, her voice almost breaking. The tone caused Xander too look up. His heart hurt and the thought he had wrecked their friendship. He was about to apologise when she suddenly jumped up from her seat and landed in Xander's lap. At his surprised look, she kissed him softly on the mouth, letting the sensation run though her lips for a second before pulling back. 

"Do you know how long I have been waiting to hear you say that?" she asked, her face now with an almost permanent smile.

Xander took a second to reply, his thoughts still getting used to her response, not to mention the feel of her lips on his. 

"Ahh, sorry, still in shock here." Seeing the look she gave him, he added quickly, "very nice shock, extremely nice and welcome shock."

Dawn smiled again and moved down to kiss him. This time Xander was ready and met her lips with equal passion. 

Since there wasn't anybody in the room with them, no-one could be sure, but it was an even money bet they didn't move for ages.

End Part Eight


	9. Part Nine

Part Nine

December 2011

"Ooh, look who's standing under the mistletoe," Dawn remarked as Xander stopped in the entrance way to the living room. 

"Would that be me?" he asked innocently.

"I think it would be you," Dawn replied, walking slowly over to him.

As she arrived, Xander encased her body in his arms and bent down to kiss her. 

"Oy! Get a room you two," was the call from the couch.

Xander and Dawn turned with silly grins on their faces. "Shut up, Cordy," Dawn teased.

Cordy huffed, not really serious. She had been the first one Dawn had called after that night, two weeks ago. Two hours later, when Cordy was able to get off the phone, she informed Wesley of the same.

Neither of them were totally surprised, although at first Cordelia did wonder if both of them were grabbing at the closest thing. But she could here how happy they were and who was she to rain on their parade. It was an unusual courtship to say the least, but in the end all she wanted was for them to be happy. 

They had already decided, before that night, to have Xmas together, in Sunnydale. It was almost their family home for all of them, if not actual home and after Xander's return, Cordelia finally had a reason not to curse the place. Well not as much. The flipside had been that New Years would be spent in LA, which they were all happy about. 

Xander and Dawn moved over and took the couch opposite Wesley and Cordelia. "So how is the agency going?" Xander asked.

"Not bad," Wesley replied. "Pretty quiet at this time of the year though. But it keeps us busy."

"You wouldn't guess how paranoid these stars are. I mean wow, and I use to want to be one of them," Cordelia added.

"You wouldn't want the fame?" Xander asked.

"Not if it meant three bodyguards following me everywhere I went. No thank you, leave that to others." Cordelia then grinned, "mind you I'm quite willing to charge to provide that service."

"That's our Cordy," Dawn laughed along with her.

*****************

"Wow, that smells delicious, Dawn," Wesley complimented her as Xander brought out the Xmas turkey.

Xander didn't say anything, but Dawn coughed loudly. Twice.

"What?" Wesley replied, clueless on whatever he said.

Cordelia leant over and informed him, "They both prepared the dinner."

"I'm sorry," Wesley said sincerely, "it smells delicious, both of you."

Xander had to laugh. "Don't worry about it. It's mostly Dawn's work any way."

Dawn reached up and grabbed Xander's hand, "What he means to say in his, 'I won't take credit for anything attitude' is that he is a wonderful cook and thank you."

Xander kissed the fingers on Dawn's hand before taking the champagne and filling everyone's glassed. After he was done, he stayed on his feat. The others looked at him expectantly, knowing he needed and wanted to do this. 

"Umm, look I just wanted to say something, this being my first Christmas, post decade leap, that is," he said with a slight edge of humour, but they all realised that there was still some lingering pain over the gap in his life.

"I am so grateful to have you all around this table with me today. I may never have thought my life would have turned out like this, but I feel lucky today. But I can't forget that last Christmas, we had a much larger family. Some are lost to us, some are missing, but they are all very dear to me and I remember them all fondly, this special day." Xander wiped a tear that fell from his eye. 

He raised his glass. "Absent friends."

At which point, Dawn, Cordelia and Wesley all stood up and said as one, "Absent Friends."

***************

Feb 2012

Xander put his keys in the door and turned them, walking through the entrance and straight into the kitchen. He placed his bag on the table and then opened the fridge, grabbing the bottle of juice. 

Reaching over to grab two glasses, he poured himself a drink, before taking a seat and placing the other glass on the table. The liquid fell effortlessly down his throat. In had been another long day at work. Not that he was complaining. He loved his job, and life was all together pretty good. Especially with the news he had.

Dawn, meanwhile had started her job with the local resort and a junior Public Relations Manager. Which apart from offering a nice career path and a very handy salary also gave her 4 weeks free accommodation at various resorts around the US. Something, which Dawn decided, was the final reason for taking the position. 

"Xan?" 

Xander looked up from where he was reading today's paper, to see Dawn walking into the kitchen. "Hi," he said with a smile, as Dawn sat down across from him. "How was your day?"

Dawn grabbed the juice and her glass that Xander had placed on the table. "It was fine. Dealing with the press is always a fine line between kindergarten and a nest full of vulture."

"I'm sure that made sense to someone," Xander teased, getting up to give her a welcome home kiss. 

He moved his chair next to hers and wrapped his arms around her body. When he did, Dawn, let her body mould into his, savoring every moment of his embrace. "Now I remember why I love to come home."

"And I glad you do," Xander replied. "I've got some news as well." 

"What is it honey?" Dawn asked.

"Well, we finish this job this week, and we don't start another one for a fortnight, so if you still want to take advantage of those free holidays, how about we take one."

Dawn's excitement rose. "You sure?" She had wanted to take one for the last month, but it seemed as though Xander would never get any time off. The early finish of his current job was a bonus that could not be passed up.

"Definitely. So where do you want to go?"

"Well, lets not worry about flying anywhere this time. So, how about San Diego?"

"It'll be great. So we'll leave Friday midday?"

Dawn nodded, before re-taking Xander's arms and wrapping them around her. Her mind already going into overdrive on ideas for the weekend. Their first holiday would not be one to forget.

****************

Friday

Xander packed up his tools and placed them back in the box, before loading it into the back of his van. He was feeling particularly impatient this day. He had hoped to be finished at the workplace, by mid morning, but now it had reached midday. Finally he was on the home stretch.

He was looking forward to this time away together. It had been so long since Xander had been away for a holiday. The aborted cross country trip, that basically started and ended in Oxnard, was his only other holiday in recent memory. And that was either over two years ago, or twelve years ago, depending on your own point of view.

Their time together in Sunnydale had been great, but with all of the history hanging over their heads, Xander felt even just a weekend away could be heaven sent.

****************

LA

Cordelia shut the door to her car, and locked it. She was running a little late, and didn't like it one bit. 

"Bloody, primadona actors," she screamed, thankful that no one could hear her. She had arranged to be in the office from 2.00pm onwards, as Wesley had to be at a meeting at 1.30pm. They both didn't like leaving the office unattended by one of them, but felt 30 minutes couldn't be all that bad. 

The lift doors opened and she got into it, pushing the third floor. Glancing at her watch, she consoled herself with the fact she was only 15 minutes later than she wanted to be.

As soon as the lift doors opened she stepped out wanting to get to her office as soon as possible. "Hi Maree," Cordelia said as she passed the receptionist, who was on the phone, unable to reply.

If Cordelia had been moving slower, she would have noticed the arm waving of the receptionist, who when she couldn't say anything, had been trying to get her attention.

Cordelia however was oblivious to those movements as she came up to her office and opened the door, puzzled as to why the lights were out. She reached over to turn them on, when a voice called out to her.

"Hello, Cordelia."

The shock of hearing that voice caused Cordelia to jump, and she turned on the light in one movement, gasping out in shock as the face of the person was revealed to her. 

***************

Dawn placed her bag, into the trunk of the car. Xander had called to tell her that he was on her way home, and she decided to pack whatever she could. Like Xander she was extremely excited about going away with him this weekend. She had never been away for a weekend with a boyfriend before. Heck she had never had a serious boyfriend to go away with. It had also been ages since she had been away for a proper holiday. Even if this was only going to be five days away, she was determined for it to be the best five days she had ever had. 

It was hard for her to even think of the time, just two months ago when she thought Xander was going to tell her that he would be moving out. She had asked him how he had disguised his feelings so well, to which he replied, he thought he hadn't and wondered how long she would put up with him, being a lovesick monkey. Which of course made her laugh. Funny thing was, he had no idea that she felt that same way, even though Dawn thought she had been totally transparent over those last few months. 

But that was all behind her, and the depth of Dawn's feelings for Xander continued to grow with every day they spent together. 

Hearing a beep, she turned to see Xander pull up on the side of the road. He quickly got out of the car and walked over, giving her a quick kiss. "I'm going to take a shower, then we can go, okay?"

Dawn nodded. "I'll grab your suitcases and pack them in the car," she replied, thankful they had prepared most things the night before. 

A few minutes later, Xander came down the stairs, looking totally refreshed. Dawn was waiting for him on the couch, and got up when he appeared at the top of the stairs, meeting him at the bottom. 

He took her hand in his, all the time gazing into her eyes. "Thanks," he simply said.

Dawn kissed him, but had no idea why he was thanking her. "What for?"

Xander just smiled. "For being you."

To which Dawn kissed him again, though this time they didn't break the kiss for a couple of minutes. When they did, Dawn, still holding onto Xander's hand, opened the door and almost pulled him through it. "Comon, if we don't leave now, we probably never will," she said, part of her wondering if that wouldn't be a bad thing.

When they were both through the door, she shut and locked it. 

They had only been out the door for a minute, but were already in the car, ready to drive off when the phone started ringing. There was no way they could hear the phone in the car, and Xander and Dawn drove off for their week away together, while their phone kept ringing.

On the sixth ring the answering machine answered. 

"Hi, you reached the Summers' residence. Xander and I aren't home at the moment, please leave a message after the beep."

"Dawn!...Xander!...Comon you guys pick up..." Cordelia's voice came through loud and clear, although there was a slight panic to her voice. "Are you there!..." she yelled.

When there was no response, she had no choice but to leave a message. "If you aren't there, please ring me back when you get in. It's very important. It's Angel. He was here. I think he is heading your way..." Cordelia paused, trying to work out how to say the next part. 

"He's...he's not the same."

End Part 9


	10. Part Ten

Part Ten

"He's not the same," was all Cordelia could get out before she heard the 'tell tale' beeps, of an answering machine hanging up. 

"Shit!" she cursed, wishing that Dawn and Xander would've gotten mobile phones like she told them. 

"But no. They wanted to have time away from people," Cordelia bitterly spat out. "Well that doesn't help me now," She yelled at the phone on her desk.

She actually admired them for their stance. Wesley and her couldn't live with out the ease of a mobile phone, but there was sometimes when she wished she could get rid of it.

Her next thought then was to call Wesley. Picking up the phone, she dialed the number, just as Wesley walked through the door.

"Cordy?" he asked, having heard Cordelia curse while he was still in the hallway. 

Cordelia turned her head as she recognised the sound of worry in Wes's voice. "I...I think we've got trouble."

"What happened?" Wesley asked walking over to his girlfriend.

"Angel's back," Cordelia answered. "My god, he's actually back." Just now Cordelia was letting that sink into her head.

"My word, that's great," Wesley replied. "First Xander, now Angel..." he stopped when he saw how Cordelia was looking at him. "Where is he?" 

"He took off. He was sort of quiet, till I mentioned how good it was to have him and Xander back in such a short time, then Angel flipped out."

"Flipped out, how?" 

"He went nuts...," Cordelia replied, still fighting the myriad of emotions inside her. It should've been a happy day, to finally have Angel back again. For a long time they were as close as a family. Angel for all intensive purposes was her brother. They supported one and other, through every trial they went through. But it all changed when Buffy died. Angel left, and in her heart Cordelia felt she would never see him again. 

But he was back. And although she as thrilled be the news, the way his demeanor changed when he found out that Xander was alive, sent a chill down her spine. 

"He grabbed me, demanded to know where he was," she said, a sad edge creeping into her voice. "He frightened me, Wesley. Even though he is human now, I actually thought he might hurt me."

"Did you tell him?" Wesley asked, very concerned for this turn of events.

"Yes," Cordelia replied a little guiltily. "I didn't want too, but he was really scaring me, Wes."

Wesley put her arm around her, and held her tenderly, feeling very protective towards Cordelia at that moment. When he felt Cordelia's body shaking, his anger rose inside, but he kept in hidden. 

"Do you think he has headed up to Sunnydale?"

"All he said was that he now could fix everything." Cordelia looked at Wesley as she wondered what was going on. "Why is he after Xander?"

"I don't know, Cordy. I don't know. Have you called them?"

"I tried but I only got the answering machine, I.." Cordelia spoke with a great deal of apprehension. "I'm really worried."

"As am I, but we can't do anything for them here." Wesley got up, pulling Cordelia out of her seat with him. "I think we need to be in Sunnydale for a few days." 

************

Two Days Later

The last vestiges of sunlight gave the balcony a warm orange glow, providing a sensual backdrop to the two people who were sitting together on the outdoor couch.

They had done this on the first night here, and now two days later, it had become a habit, that neither of them wanted to break. Xander sat back against the cushions and Dawn leant back against him, her back molded into his front. Xander's arms were wrapped around the front of her body, while she in turn wrapped her arms around him. They were almost one, as they watched the sun set on another day in paradise.

"We could stay her forever?" Xander whispered into Dawn's ear.

"At least until the money ran out," Dawn replied jokingly.

"Shatter my dreams," Xander retorted, bending down and kissing Dawn as she looked up.

"I'm not going anywhere," Dawn stated after the kiss broke.

"So you can put up with me then?" Xander asked.

Dawn turned her self around and laid down on top of him, her face only inches from his. "You are the only thing I would ever turn my back on that sunset for," she replied, softly but seriously.

Xander moved his head slightly up and kissed her again. "I'll be there whenever you turn around."

Dawn smiled again, before deciding they had talked enough. She met his lips with all the passion she had kept building up over they day. 

In her mind, in those few scant seconds when she wasn't thinking about Xander, she was glad they had room service at hotels.

************

Wesley handed a cup of coffee to Cordelia, who took it gratefully. "Maybe he didn't come here?" Wesley offered, not really believing himself.

They had come straight up to Sunnydale that night, two days ago, but found no sign of Xander or Dawn. Immediately they wondered if Angel had arrived there first, but they discounted that fact, more out of hope that their former friend hadn't done something that he shouldn't have, then any actual evidence. The next day, they had gone to Xander and Dawn's workplaces. It quickly became apparent they were away on a holiday. Thankfully they seemed to have missed Angel, having left the same day he had shown up in LA. 

It was a great relief to both of them, but the frustration grew when Dawn's work refused to give out any details to them, apart from the fact they would be back in around a week. Xander's work on the other hand, had no idea where he went. Neither of the places of employment had been visited by anyone matching Angel's appearance, so Wesley and Cordelia both believed that Angel had no idea where they were. Which was more good news. 

After that the decision was made to stay in Sunnydale. Not only would they be close when Xander and Dawn returned, but it may give them a chance to get to Angel and find out what he was up to, before he caused any problems. They had a lot of loyalty and sympathy for their former boss, but Xander and Dawn were there closest friends and they wouldn't let anything happen to them.

"Wishful thinking," Cordelia said, patting Wesley on the hand to let him know she appreciated it.

"He could be out there, now. Watching us." Wesley looked around outside the car window, but saw no one. "Why doesn't he come and talk to us, if he is out there?"

Cordelia could hear the frustration in Wesley's voice. It matched her own mood. "I don't think he is the same Angel we knew and loved."

Wesley nodded, remember back five years ago. "He was never the same after Buffy's death."

"None of us were," Cordelia replied in an almost whisper.

******************

As the Blade came crashing down, Xander couldn't turn away, seeing for the hundredth time, the death blow strike Buffy. And like every other time it happened, Xander jolted out of his sleep. Though as the dreams went on each other night, Xander became harder in his reactions. The tears no longer fell, although he always felt the same sense of loss and helplessness. He felt like it killed him a little more inside, each time he was forced to witness Buffy's death. Not that it was Buffy's actual death. But his mind, in it's own sick little game, had decided to inflict its own version on him.

"Honey," Dawn spoke as she woke up from Xander's jolt.

Xander silently cursed again, hating that every night he had one of his nightmares, it also meant Dawn would be woken up. He was only thankful it wasn't every night.

"I'm okay," he said, lying himself back down next to her. As he did, Dawn rolled her arm over and wrapped it around him.

She no longer had to ask what happened. Dawn just wished she could take the pain away. Sometimes it seemed like it was over, but other nights, even after what had been a perfect day, the nightmare returned. Dawn wondered if Xander's subconscious would ever let him forgive himself. She loved him for it, but Cordelia's words 10 years ago kept on coming back to her. It was almost haunting what she said. 

"I think sometimes all he wanted to do, was keep the Summers' sister's safe."

As much as Dawn new that was correct, she also knew he would be haunted by his guilt at not being able to protect Buffy.

****************

Two Days later

The waves crashed against the foreshore, as Xander and Dawn walked past hand in hand, enjoying the last hours, before the reality known as Sunnydale beckoned them back.

The five days away had cemented their feelings stronger, then either of them had expected, and though they never would've thought it before, San Diego would always have a special place in their hearts.

They saw a street vendor selling ice creams and walked over, each getting a double scoop of their favourite flavour. After paying, they found a nearby bench seat and sat down to enjoy the creamy taste before it melted down their arms.

Xander turned to Dawn and saw that she had left herself with an ice cream moustache. He smiled at her and wiped it off tenderly with one of the napkins they took from the vendor.

Once they had finished the ice creams they moved together, savouring the last moments and images from the time away. 

"I love you," Xander said after a moment. It was spoken so quietly that Dawn almost didn't hear it. 

He had never said that to her before, and she hadn't either. It was a boundary that neither of them wanted to approach till that moment. But after Dawn had made sure, in her own head, that she hadn't imagined those words, she quickly told him her own feelings.

"I love you, so much," she said with a grin that told Xander just exactly how much those words meant to her.

************

Five Hours later

As Xander pulled the car into the driveway of their home, he glanced over at the passenger seat, smiling to himself when he saw that she was still asleep.

He decided to leave the luggage for now. He hated to have to wake her up, but he doubted he could get her up to bed, without doing so. 

"Dawn," he gently said, lightly stroking her face as he did. 

After a few seconds, Dawn's eyes fluttered open and she as she gazed into the eyes of the man she loved, she felt nothing but contentment. 

"Are we home?" she asked the sensation of sleep still not totally worn off. 

"Yeah, we are." Xander helped her up and out of the car, holding her steady till she was sure on her feet. "I didn't want to wake you."

"Aww, Honey," she replied thinking it cute. She gave him another hug, which Xander didn't mind in the slightest. Pulling back she grasped his hand, and followed him to the front door, then inside the house.

"Well since you are awake, do you want a drink?"

"Yeah, thanks," Dawn replied, before walking off to the kitchen, her hand still entwined with Xander's. When they got there, Xander noticed the answering machine flashing its red light at them. 

"Looks like some one wanted us," Xander joked. 

"I'll check it," Dawn replied, and pushed the button. As she did the sound of someone knocking on the front door, disturbed their thoughts.

"I'll get it," Dawn said, seeing that Xander was halfway through pouring out some juice.

"Okay," Xander replied with a smile, secretly hoping that whoever was at the door would be leaving soon. They had one last night before work and even though they weren't at the resort anymore, it was the last night of holidays.

Jus then Cordelia's voice came through the answer machine. 

[Dawn!...Xander!...Comon you guys pick up...]

Dawn got to the door, and reached up to open it.

[Are you there!...]

As the door opened, Dawn gasped loudly in shock.

[If you aren't there, please ring me back when you get in. It's very important. It's Angel. He was here. I think he is heading your way...]

"Angel!" Dawn exclaimed.

"Dawn!" Xander called out, hearing her mention his name just after Cordelia had. He started to run towards the front door. 

[He's...he's not the same.]

He stopped in his tracks at the site in front of him. As his eyes met Angel's, all Xander could think of was a showdown in a hospital 13 years ago. 

The big difference this time was the woman he swore in his heart to protect was between the two of them, but closer to Angel.

End Part 10


	11. Part Eleven

Part Eleven

Xander took a couple of steps towards Angel. His eyes staying totally focussed on the former vampire. 

"Dawn, come towards me," Xander said calmly, still not letting his eyes wander. 

"Xan, what's wrong?" Dawn asked confused. She could feel the tension in the room rising with each passing second. 

"Please just walk towards me," Xander said firmly, but softly.

When she was in arms distance, Xander reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling him closer into him. "Are you okay," he asked tenderly, lightly brushing the hair away from her eyes.

"I'm fine, Xander. What's going on?" 

Xander suddenly realised that he had taken his eyes of Angel and turned to face him, expecting Angel to have made a move inside. Instead he saw that Angel hadn't moved at all. "What's going on, Angel?" he said harshly.

Angel for his part had not intended on moving. As soon as Xander reacted the way he had, it was obvious that Cordelia had phoned and told them about his appearance in LA. He knew that it would be easier for him if Xander came voluntarily. For that to happen, Angel also knew he had to get a chance to explain to him what needed to be done. 

Dawn frowned at Xander's tone. Hadn't Angel and Xander, buried their long standing feud before he disappeared. 

"Xander, why are you being so rude? Angel come in and have a seat."

"Dawn, No!" Xander interrupted her, causing Dawn to look at him with hurt in her eyes. Xander hadn't so much as shouted at her before, and now he was ordering her to not let in a long lost friend. 

She was about to ask why, when a voice from behind Angel interrupted them. 

"Don't move, Angel." 

************

"Oh my god, look," Cordelia shouted, pointing at the front door of the Summers' residence, just as Wesley and her pulled up at the front of the house.

"Damn!" Wesley exclaimed, before getting out of the car and following Cordelia up to the front of the door. 

They hadn't meant to miss Xander and Dawn arriving back at home. Not that they knew exactly when they were going to get back into Sunnydale, but they been delayed in getting back to the front of the house. The last thing they wanted to see was Angel already there, when they got back.

Of course the world being how the world was it was pretty much a gimmie that something would go wrong, so Wesley and Cordelia weren't all that surprised. 

"Don't move, Angel," Cordelia shouted at him, thinking that he was about to rush in and attack someone.

Dawn at this stage was thoroughly confused. Xander still had hold of her hand, as if he was afraid to let her go, Cordelia and Wesley had just turned up looking as though they had to save Xander and herself, and Angel still hadn't said a word.

"What the hell is going on?" she shouted, hoping that the volume of her voice may finally get some one to tell her what is happening.

Xander felt Dawn's frustration, and squeezed her hand softly. "I'm sorry. Maybe Angel can explain what he did to Cordelia to make her leave a rather distressed message on our answer machine."

Dawn looked at Xander, then to Cordelia, before finally settling her eyes on Angel. "Well?" she asked expectantly.

Everyone waited for Angel to say something. Finally after a few seconds he did.

"Can I come in and sit down?"

His voice was different than what they remembered it. It had a gravely tone to it, as if his vocal chords had been sand-papered. It fit perfectly with his appearance. Xander had no doubt Angel had spent the last five years roughing it. His face showed the scars and everyday wear from such a lifestyle.

"You don't need to be invited in Angel. Your human now." Xander replied, not trusting him for a minute.

"I thought it was the polite thing to do," Angel said. 

Xander looked at Cordelia for some guidance, it was her after all that left the message, that was making Xander extremely suspicious of the ex-vampire.

"You were crazed back in LA, Angel. How can we trust you?" she asked, still not taking any closer steps to him. 

Angel took a deep breath, his patience getting thinner, every time someone asked another question. "I'm sorry about that Cordelia. I was just surprised that Xander was alive. I wasn't thinking straight."

"And you think I was less surprised to see you. It's been over five years, Angel. We thought you were dead," Cordelia replied, not really buying Angel's explanation. Just because he was surprised didn't forgive his roughness. 

"I've been travelling a lot," Angel replied.

"Great," Xander retorted, "Angel's reverted back to cryptic guy." He took a deep breath and looked down at Dawn. "Do you feel okay with Angel coming in?"

Dawn nodded. She felt that it was strange everything that was going on, but Angel had never hurt her personally, well when he had a soul, at least. He was part of the old Scooby Family and that loyalty swayed her decision.

"Everyone come in and have a seat." She could feel that Xander wasn't comfortable with it, but also knew he had let her make the decision. She squeezed his hand, to let him know she wanted him to come with her, as they made their way over to the living room.

After they had all taken a seat, all eyes fell on Angel. He however was focussed solely on the fact that Xander and Dawn were a couple. And by the looks of it a couple that was very serious. It complicated his plans, but he was sure it would not cause any major problems.

When it seemed that Angel wasn't going to say anything, Dawn lost her patience. "For gods sake, Angel. You're the one you turned up here, it's about time you told us why?"

Angel nodded. In truth he hadn't want to alienate them all. That was the last thing on his mind. He was going over in his head, ways he could start what he knew would be a long conversation.

"I came back cause I found a way to make everything right again." Angel simply stated.

Those words immediately got the other four's attention.

"What do you mean right?" Wesley asked.

"We can get Buffy back." It was a simple statement, that from Angel's delivery it was obvious to everyone else that it was the number one thing on his mind.

Xander wondered if Angel had spent the last five years obsessing on the death of Buffy. He felt sorry for him, knowing that he could have easily done the same thing, if it wasn't for Dawn.

"It's been over five years, Angel. I don't think there is anyway you can bring her back," Xander said sympathetically.

Angel nodded. "There isn't any way I can bring her back." Angel agreed, before adding, "but you can."

That statement was greeted by looks of disbelief from around the table. 

Xander looked at Dawn, who was silently watching the proceedings, then back at Angel. "What do you mean I can bring her back. I, out of us all, have the least amount of special powers. In fact, I think I remember how much power I have – none." The incredulity of the statement didn't mask the fact that Xander had a little bit of anger in his voice. It was a dream of his to see Buffy alive again. Hell it was Dawn's dream as well, and he couldn't help but think Angel was playing with their emotions.

"Xander can bring her back, because only he can travel back in time to save her," Angel finally responded to their question. He said the statement slowly, making sure that everyone got each word that he spoke.

"Umm, I think you need to explain further, Angel," Cordelia asked, seeing that Xander had fallen silent, and Dawn was grasping Xander's hand tighter, not wanting to think about Xander leaving.

Angel took a deep breath and let it out. His annoyance at having to explain every detail was not lost on anyone else. But he didn't care. He had spent five years on this quest, and he found it extremely annoying to be delayed at the final moments.

"When Xander disappeared, Giles and I kept looking into what Krostoff was, and what the Orb was for. A year or so after, we found out that Xander would probably turn up some time in the future, though we didn't know if he would alive, or when. It could be 100's of years from now, or it could have been the next week."

Dawn interrupted him. "I overheard you talking to Giles about that one day." She looked at Xander. "It was the only hope I hung onto."

Xander squeezed her hand again, letting her know he appreciated the comment.

Angel however, ignored her. It only further delayed his explanation. "We couldn't however find out anything else, and after a while, we all had much bigger problems in San Francisco to work out. After Buffy's death, I had to get away. I packed a few things, and when I did I found the Orb you knocked away from Krostoff. I had hidden it away till we had some use for it," Angel continued, nodding to Xander, so he would know what he was talking about.

Xander nodded, but said nothing as Angel continued.

"I took it with me. I suppose as a reminder of what I was leaving behind. A few months into my travels, I found a local researcher in South America who knew a lot more about the orb, then Giles or I did. He was the one who told me that, it was what Krostoff used to travel in time and dimensions. So my thought was to travel back to where Buffy was about to go into battle and save her. But I had to find a spell. That took me almost five years. Five years of traveling to different continents, till I found a group of demons in Pakistan, that had worshipped Krostoff. After five years, I had the means to make it alright again."

"And you need our help for this," Xander asked, thinking that if this was all Angel wanted, he only needed to ask.

"No." Angel said bitterly. He hated the fact that he couldn't be the one to save Buffy. Now he had to put the life of his beloved in the hands of the one human he disliked.

"A human can't use the orb's power to travel through time. Only demons can. The time winds would kill me. When I became human it took away my ability to save her." Angel didn't attempt to hide his bitterness over the irony of his situation

"Then no-one can use it," Wesley stated.

"That's what I thought, but there is a way. For some reason Xander survived the travel here. It may be cause Buffy pulled him away in time not to get hit by the full blast of the time winds, I don't know. But the point is, because his body is saturated by these time particles, he and only he can travel back to save Buffy." 

Xander took all of what Angel said in. He had the chance to save Buffy. More than that he also had the chance to bring the Scooby Gang together again. 

"How sure are you that this will work?" Xander asked.

"From what I have been told it is going to work, but only because of the first journey you took. You weren't meant to jump in time, and so your body is meant to be back then. The spell just helps you along," Angel replied.

Xander realised that Willow had said virtually the same thing, all those years ago when he had been split in tow. That had been very simple to fix then, so maybe this would be do. 

Suddenly Angel's words struck him. "What, so I go back to when I disappeared," Xander asked, this definitely not being what he had first envisioned.

"It is the only section of time you can go back to."

"And then I can travel back here?" Xander asked.

"No," Angel replied, getting noticeably more irritable as the questions came forth.

At Angel's answer, Xander slumped back into his chair. This wasn't something he could make his mind up over straightaway. There was a beautiful woman whom he loved dearly, holding onto his arm that had a very big say in any decision he made. Wesley and Cordelia immediately knew that the ramifications of that would be. Dawn, like the rest of the conversation, stayed silent.

"But you would be back where you belong, and maybe that will be enough to save Buffy." Angel argued, seeing that Xander hadn't agreed to his proposal.

"There is no guarantee of that, Angel." Wesley cautioned.

"But it is a chance," Angel pleaded, getting angry that Xander wasn't replying. 

'Fine,' Angel thought, 'I'll make him see it my way.'

"It what you have to do, Xander. You can't just let her die." Angel said, though to Wesley and Cordelia it sounded more like a taunt.

"Angel!" Cordelia yelled, offended by his callous remark.

Xander was sure that he would have been over on Angel in a flash, forcing him to take back what he had just said. And the end of his fist if needed be. But he didn't move. 

He didn't have a chance to, as Dawn leapt up from her seat and jumped on Angel, slapping him hard across the face.

"Get out of my house, you bastard," she yelled at him, before starting to hit him again. Xander scooped her up from behind, stopping her assault, before Angel retaliated. He never would've thought that Angel would do something like that, but the Angel that was in their house at that moment, bore little if no resemblance to the one he disliked a decade ago. 

Just because Xander had lifted her away, did not stop Dawn from directing her bile towards Angel.

"How dare you come in here and casually tell the man I love, that he has to do anything. You have no right."

Angel looked at her with nothing but loathing. "I should've known you wouldn't want to help." He spat out some blood, that had gathered after one of Dawn's more accurate blows, at her feet, before moving away to the door.

Just before he was about to leave, he turned to face them again. Now that Xander had rejected his plan, he saw no reason to play nice. One way or the other he would make Xander go back and save Buffy. If it took emotional abuse, he would do it.

"Maybe you never loved her, Xander. I may have disliked you, but I thought I could've counted on that." Angel shrugged, and Xander could have sworn he saw a slight grin on his face. 

"Guess I was wrong."

End Part 11


	12. Part Twelve

Part 12

Xander could no longer hold his emotions in check and launched himself at the former vampire. The quickness of the move caught Angel off guard and he had no time to recover before Xander's blow knocked both of them to the ground. Xander was the first to recover more from the fact he was on top, then any great skill, and grabbed Angel's shirt in one fist. Screwing down on the grip he pushed his fist up against the underside of Angel's chin, forcing the lips tightly shut.

"You have no right to lecture me about my feelings for Buffy, you bastard," Xander shouted, his fist pushing harder on the throat of his victim.

"Xander," Cordelia warned from behind him.

He was about to turn around and tell Cordelia to leave it alone, when he noticed, exactly what, she was alerting him too. He followed her gaze and saw that Wesley had moved over, checking to see how Dawn was after her confrontation. That one glance, Xander did, was enough to know she wasn't okay. 

He immediately let go of Angel and got up to help her. Whatever anger he had, while still inside him, fell into little importance once he knew Dawn needed him. He reached out his hand and grasped hers.

"Dawn," he said a little worried.

The feel of Xander's hand and his voice seemed to wake Dawn out of her thoughts, but she didn't respond. Xander was going to speak to her again, when she wrapped her arms around him tightly. Although Xander enjoyed any occasion she did that, he was still concerned at her continued silence. 

"What's wrong?" Xander whispered to her, his mouth just above her ear. 

Dawn heard Xander ask again, but didn't respond. Not that she couldn't, or that she didn't want to. It was simply that she didn't know how to say what she was thinking. And she definitely didn't want to discuss her fears and worried in front of others, no matter how much she cared for them. When she made eye contact with Xander, she motioned to the stairs, hoping he would get the message.

Xander was about to try again, when he noticed Dawn's eyes talking to him. Maybe talk wasn't the right word, but Xander understood everything they were conveying. He nodded to her, and kissed her on the forehead. "I'll be up in a second."

Dawn started to move up the stairs, but didn't let go of Xander's hand, holding it to the last moment, when she either had to let go, or drag him up with her. 

Xander watched her walk up the stairs, making sure she was okay, and when he could see her no more, he turned to tell Wesley that what he would be doing. When he did however he noticed that not only had Angel disappeared, but Cordelia as well. Wesley was over at the front doorway looking out into the front yard.

"Wes, where's .."

"She outside, giving Angel a piece of her mind," Wesley answered not needing Angel to spell out exactly what he was going to ask. Although he was a little concerned, he also took great pride in seeing Cordelia stand up to Angel. 

Xander laid a hand on Wesley's shoulder. "I'll be upstairs," he simply said, walking off when Wesley acknowledged his words.

Wesley stayed at the doorway. Full of admiration he may be, but his inner being would not allow Cordelia to be out of sight, with an unstable Angel next to her.

**************

While Dawn, Xander and Wesley seemed to be pre-occupied with their own problems, Angel thought that it would be an ideal time to get out. Not out of Sunnydale. If he had his way he would never leave again. At least not in this time stream. But that would be for tomorrow. He had just stepped off the bottom step when he realised his departure had not been as stealthy as he had hoped.

"Where do you think you're going?" Cordelia called to him, the words not hiding her anger at what he had said inside.

Angel sighed and turned around. "I didn't feel like joining in with the Xander Harris support-a-thon that would be occurring inside."

Angel's attitude, not lessening Cordelia's anger at all, gave her all the impetus to walk the few steps to where he was and get right in his face. "What's happened to you?" She wanted answers and if she had any say in it, Angel wouldn't be leaving till he started to sing.

Angel, however, was in no mood for conversation, either friendly of non. "It's been over five years, close to six, Cordelia. You don't know me anymore." And for Angel that was the end of it. He turned around and walked off, not expecting anyone to follow him. 

He was wrong. Something he found out just seconds later, when a hand grabbed his arm and yanked him back.

"Don't touch me," he yelled at Cordelia.

Cordelia's mood hadn't changed, although she started to feel hurt every time Angel's obvious disdain for her feelings shone through. "You were like a brother to me. Do you hate me know? Is that it? Did those years we worked together mean nothing to you?"

Angel's first instinct was to say 'yes' and leave. He didn't want to get into any of this. Not now and not here. But there was something in Cordelia's tone that reached a long since buried part of his heart. The years spent with Angel investigations was the happiest of his souled, undead life, Even counting for the couple of times he went off the rail, it was a happy time. It was why he had returned to LA less than a week ago.

"They mean something," he replied, just the barest of feelings present in his voice. 

Cordelia took a breath and thanked whomever for the small part of her Angel she still saw in those words. "Tell me what happened?"

Angel shook his head. He couldn't understand why it was so important to her. Surely the fact that he could send Xander back in time and make everything right was so much more important than any history lesson. "I have new priorities," was his simple explanation.

Cordelia was about to scoff at his answer when some of Angel's actions didn't quite add up in her head. "Hang on. Why were you in LA, if it is unimportant?" When Angel didn't answer she continued. "You had no idea that Xander was alive and yet you still came and saw me. Why?"

Angel attempted to shrug it off. "I was back in the area and thought I would drop in and say hello."

Cordelia didn't buy one word of it. "So you need to convince me that you're an asshole, that much. Congrats, you're almost there."

"Good. Then leave me alone," Angel replied shaking off Cordelia's arm and moving away.

Cordelia however wasn't going to give up that easy. She was ready for his attempted exit and grabbed his arm again. This time however she wasn't going to wait for Angel's verbal barrage. As he turned around she slapped him hard across the face. 

"Happy?" she asked, not really expecting an answer. "I came out her to talk to you, but you've made it clear you don't want to do that. So here is a new choice. Talk to me now, or never come near any of us again."

Angel was tempted to just walk away, but there was a little bit inside that remembered the Angel Investigations days with fondness. And more importantly there was another part of him that thought that it would be best to have Cordelia on his side. He still had to get Xander to go back in time, and he might need some extra help. 

He just slumped to the ground, sitting cross-legged, and waited for Cordelia to join him. When she did, he started at the only point he knew.

"Don't you think Xander should go back?"

"Not if he doesn't want to, no."

"You never really liked Buffy did you?' Angel spat at her, his change in attitude immediate.

"My god, if this is how you want to explain things to me, I think I'll leave," Cordelia relied, startled and a little hurt and Angel's bile.

"Cordy, wait,' Angel said, not wanting her to leave like this. "I'm sorry. I just get a little angry when Buffy seems to be forgotten."

"Forgotten?" Cordelia replied, a little offended by the suggestion. "We may not spend every day thinking about her, Angel, but we've never forgotten her. I know Xander still has nightmares about her dying, cause Dawn told me, and if you think that Dawn has ever forgotten Buffy, you are seriously wrong."

"And yet they both want to keep their nice cozy house situation instead of helping her."

Cordelia sighed. Angel, at least the Angel she knew and loved seemed to be missing from the human form in front of her. Something had changed in the last five years and it seemed to have taken her friend when it did.

"If you can't understand why, then maybe you haven't learnt what being a human again is?" she told him, sadly.

"And what a great gift it was!" Angel shouted out. "Do you think it was worth it? My gift."

"It was what you wanted," Cordelia replied remembering what he had said many years past. 

"What I wanted was to live my life with Buffy, Cordelia."

"I know," Cordelia said, remembering those first few days after Buffy's death and Angel's transformation. "And it didn't happen. You need to move on. We're still here."

"No, I need to get Buffy back," Angel stated again, before getting up and walking away. He tired of going over the same argument. If he couldn't make them see his way by talking to them, there was other ways. 

************

"Are you okay," Xander asked, as he opened the door to their bedroom and walked straight over to where Dawn was sitting on the bed. When he got there he knelt on the floor, and reached up with is hand, lightly caressing her cheek. 

"I'm okay," she replied softly, before leaning over and kissing him passionately.

Xander was surprised by her move, but no less enjoyed it. But he knew that it was putting of them talking about what had happened. Breaking the kiss, he looked at those eyes that he had constantly lost himself in. The warmth they conveyed filed his heart with the feeling of just how deep her love for him was. Any other time and he could have easily lost himself in them again.

He was no longer surprised at how much he felt this was his home. In his first two months back in Sunnydale, he was constantly thinking of the past, feeling out of place and generally mourning for lost friends. But a few months ago it all changed. It was then that he acknowledged what he was feeling for Dawn. It was then that they fell in love and he now felt more secure than any other time in his life. He was home and he never wanted to leave.

"Do you think he was telling the truth?" Dawn asked, breaking the silence.

"About going back in time?" 

"Yeah." 

Xander could here the worry in her voice, but had no definite answer for her. "He could be."

"So.." Dawn started not really wanting to have the answer to the question she needed to pose.

"So..." Xander prompted.

"Would you go back?"

"Not on just his say so, no" Xander answered truthfully. 

"What if Wesley confirmed it?" Dawn asked, further pushing Xander for an answer.

"I'm not sure." Xander grasped her hands in his, feeling both his hurt at the thought of leaving and sensing what it was doing to Dawn. 

Dawn felt her heart tug. She feared that he would have that response. She always felt that Xander would jump at the chance to save Buffy, not to mention all others. But, and she knew it was selfish, she wanted his priority to be her. 

"I don't want you to go," she stated clearly.

"I'm not going anywhere," Xander replied.

"But you're considering it?"

"I think we have to. Don't we?" Xander asked, thinking it was the least he could do.

"I don't want to consider it." Dawn wrapped her arms around Xander again, and whispered in his ear. "I love you and I don't want to lose you."

Xander knew that Dawn was looking for a definitive answer, but he had none at that moment. All he knew was what his heart was saying.

"I don't want to lose you either."

End Part 12


	13. Part Thirteen

Part 13

Xander walked down the stairs, hoping that Wesley and Cordelia hadn't left. Although he was feeling much better, now that Dawn was okay, he also knew he had a lot to think about. When he got to the bottom of the stairs, he could here the two of them talking in the kitchen.

"Hey," he said announcing his presence. "Is everything okay?"

"I think so," Cordelia replied.

"What did Angel have to say?" Xander asked, hoping that Cordelia would be able to shed some light on his actions.

"It was hard to get straight answers from him, but basically he misses Buffy terribly, and before you say it, I know we all do," Cordelia replied. 

Xander didn't say anything about that after Cordelia's warning. "So why is he treating us like crap?"

"He has no attachment to us anymore, Xander. I think he remembers some of the feelings he used to have, but he thinks he was cursed by becoming human when Buffy died and all he cares about is bringing Buffy back."

Xander listened to what Cordelia was saying and was not unsympathetic. He often wondered what he would have been like if it wasn't for Dawn being there for him when he first arrived. "Do you believe him?"

Cordelia shrugged. "I'm not sure he knows what he is talking about. His mind is only on one thing. The story could've been bent in his head first."

Xander only nodded, understanding that he was no closer to knowing if Angel was telling the truth.

"How's Dawn?" Cordelia asked.

"She's okay. Worried mainly." Xander glanced up, as if he could see through the ceiling to their room. "I should get back to her. You guys can crash here, you know. Feel free to take one of the spare rooms."

When Wesley and Cordelia, acknowledged the offer, Xander wished them good night walked upstairs.

*****************

Xander's eyes opened with a start, but the mind numbing shock of his nightmares had past. He was almost used to it, and that little fact didn't sit well within him either. The only plus from the new easiness he felt, was his less severe reaction, meaning that Dawn didn't wake up every time he did. When he was fully alert he glanced to his side and saw to his relief that she had not stirred. 

Xander couldn't help smiling as he starred at her. She looked so happy, so peaceful when sleeping. He hated to interrupt that serenity, but he needed to clear his thoughts before trying to fall asleep again. His walk to the kitchen may not be a huge distance, but it was just the tonic needed for his head. 

He gently rose from his bed, carefully so as not to wake Dawn. As he walked out and down the stairs his thoughts went back to the conversation he had with Dawn earlier. He meant what he said to her. He had no plans to leave. But something nagged at him, and he knew it was his conscience. Whatever Angel's methods, if he was right and Xander could change things for the better, maybe it would be worth risking what he had. 

He reached the kitchen and opened up the fridge, taking a carton of juice out. After pouring himself a glass, he sat down on the bench and thought about what else he could do. 

As much as his time here had cemented his feelings for Dawn, there was a part of him that hurt, not knowing what had happened to Anya. You didn't stay with someone for two years and not care deeply about them. He had grown out of his love in the last few months for Anya, but it was a hole in his life he would like to see filled. Although he had no contact address for Willow, he was less worried about something terrible had happened to her. He was sure she was settled down somewhere. But he longed to see his life long friend again. 

Xander knew that the longing boiled down to wanting to see the Scooby Gang together again. He also knew the only way that would happen, would be if Buffy survived. And then it came back to the basic dilemma. He was the only one who could do that. 

As soon as he contemplated going back in time however, his turned to the beautiful woman, asleep in her bed, ignorant to the battles going on inside Xander's mind. Whatever reasons Xander could come up with to go back in time, they all seemed to cancel out as soon as he pictured her smiling face. 

Feeling not any better, but wanting to attempt to get some sleep, Xander washed the glass out in the sink before heading to the stairs. As he did he caught a glimpse of a moving shadow out on the back landing. Squinting his eyes he couldn't hide his annoyance at who he saw. He went over to the door and opened it.

"What do you want, Angel?" he asked, before glancing at his watch. "And why at 3.30am?"

"I'm sorry, but I needed to talk to you again," Angel stated.

Xander almost laughed at the change in attitude from the confrontation earlier. But whatever caused it was not his concern. "And it couldn't wait till morning?"

"No, it couldn't," Angel replied, hoping that his sincerity would mask his lame reasoning for why he was outside Xander's house.

Xander wondered if Cordelia had really gotten through to him earlier. He sighed, letting some of his anger out. From what Cordelia had told him, he did feel an amount of sympathy for his former, sometimes, ally. "It's way to early. Come back in the morning and we'll talk." Xander went to close the door, but Angel stuck his hand in the way. "Angel!" Xander said with his annoyance returning.

"Look Xander. I obviously didn't do a great job, in talking to you earlier. I would've thought you would be wanting to know more about the orb, preparing to go back." Angel decided to play the guilt card again, thinking it was his best chance. "I thought you loved Buffy?"

Xander was ready for it this time. The effect having been diluted by its earlier sting. "I did Angel. You weren't around for much of the last two years, but Buffy and I developed a wonderful relationship. We were about as close as what friends get. I would've died for her." Xander's reply was softly spoken but very sure of each word he said. Talking about Buffy always brought high levels of emotion if he wasn't being very careful.

"Then why won't you go back?"

Xander sighed again. "Listen, I don't trust you. I'm going to ask Wesley to look into what you said, but Buffy isn't my future, Angel. Her sister, the woman I love is." As soon as Xander said it, he cringed at how selfishly dismissive it sounded. He continued before Angel had a chance to respond. "You're asking me to risk what I have, on the chance you can send me back, on the chance that I can actually change something. I don't think that is what I should do."

He looked the former vampire in the eye, speaking as gently as he could. "And I don't think it is what Buffy would want either."

Angel lashed out, pushing Xander back against the door. "Don't you dare speak to me about what Buffy would want. If I could go back I wouldn't even have to think about it."

Xander felt like lashing back, till he remembered Cordelia's words. "I know you do, Angel. And to be truthful I feel for you. You have no connection to this time. I do, and that's why I'm staying. It's where I belong."

Angel could see that Xander wouldn't be persuaded. "I can't believe you wouldn't help, Xander." He took one last look at him, before turning and walking away. 

Xander hadn't meant to chase off Angel like that. He still wanted to find out if, Angel was telling the truth. But he got so annoyed at Angel's attitude, he couldn't help himself. 

With each step that he took up the stairs, Xander ran over some of the things Angel had said to him. He found that a lot of it had hit home. When he was going out with Cordelia or Anya, he had on numerous occasions jumped into the fray to help Buffy. But now the question came down to the same answer. No matter what reasons he could think of, leaving Dawn was too painful to think about. 

That feeling was only re-enforced when he got back upstairs and laid down beside her. Almost immediately her arm snaked over and wrapped around his chest.

*************

Dawn slowly opened her eyes, adjusting to the sunshine that illuminated the room, as her body slowly woke out of rest to movement. She could feel the warmth of Xander's body next to her and as she usually did, her body went into automatic mode, smiling at the wonderful feeling of having Xander next to her, and her arm reaching over to pull Xander into a hug. When she did so, she found to her surprise, that he was already awake, and that he seemed to have been staring at her.

"Good morning," she said sweetly.

"Morning," Xander replied, pulling her towards him and holding her tight. 

Dawn, while enjoying the feel of Xander on her, couldn't help but notice that behind the word Xander spoke to her, seemed to be a great deal of hidden emotion. She wondered if he had suffered another nightmare last night, or if Angel's words were still troubling him. 

*************

When Xander walked into the kitchen he was surprised to see that Wesley and Cordelia were not only up, but had cooked breakfast for everyone.

"Morning," he announced, as cheerful as he could, considering it was morning.

"Morning, Xander," Wesley replied warmly, while Cordelia acknowledged his presence with a smile.

"You didn't have to do any of this you know," Xander said, indicating the food that had been prepared. "Though from the smell of things, I'm glad you did."

"We know, we wanted to," Cordelia answered. "Where's Dawn?"

"In the shower."

Xander had spent most of the night wondering about what to do about Angel and his story. He was loath to take anything Angel said at face value, but after initially dismissing the idea, he found that he couldn't just forget about even the remotest chance to save Buffy and the Scooby Gang.

"Wes, I need to ask a favour?" Xander said seriously.

"Certainly, Xander, anything," Wesley replied.

"Do you still have all the books Giles and Angel had to research what happened to me?"

"Yes, them plus more in LA."

"Good," Xander replied, nodding in acknowledgement that his thoughts seemed spot on. "I need you to look up what Angel was saying last night. Tell me if it was the truth or not."

Wesley glanced across at Cordelia a little worried. "Are you considering what Angel suggested?"

Xander shook his head. "No. It's just, I can't forget about it either. I need to know."

Cordelia looked towards the stairwell, thinking of Dawn who was still upstairs. "Have you spoken to Dawn about this?"

Xander shook his head. "I had another visit from Angel last night."

"Oh dear, are you okay?" Wesley asked concerned and a little surprised that they hadn't been woken from what must have been another animated confrontation.

"Actually he was a lot calmer. I think Cordelia's words got through to him."

"Then why? What changed Xander?" Cordelia asked.

"Nothing really changed, I just want to know the truth. I owe them all that, Cordy."

Wesley could understand both his girlfriends and friends point of view. He had always believed knowledge was the best place to start from when making a decision. "Ill head back straight away."

"Wesley!" Cordelia started to argue, before Xander interrupted. 

"Please Cordelia. I need to know."

There was something in Xander's eyes that convinced Cordelia of his sincerity. She got up and patted Xander on the arm to let him know she understood, before fixing him with a steely stare.

"Don't break her heart," she stated plainly.

Xander nodded to her, before watching them walk to the bedroom they had stayed in to pack. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Dawn. Part of him hated that he was checking out Angel's story, but it was something he just had to do. His heart hurt at any prospect that he may cause Dawn pain, but he hoped she would understand his need. 

As usual, thinking of Dawn made him want to see her again. He got up and turned around to go upstairs, when he came face to face with an obviously upset Dawn. By the look on her face, Xander could tell she had overheard some of what they had been talking about.

"You're going to go back, aren't you?" Dawn asked before Xander had a chance to greet her.

End Part 13


	14. Part Fourteen

Chapter 14

"Honey," Xander said as he moved forward to take her in his arms. 

Dawn however wanted none of it and backed away into the hallway. "I love you Xander. Don't you dare lie to me."

Xander inwardly cursed, wondering what part of the conversation with Wesley and Cordelia, Dawn had heard. "Whatever you heard, it wasn't the full story."

"So why are Wesley and Cordelia already heading back to LA?" she asked, her tone still showing her hurt and pain she felt.

Xander didn't respond straight away. He could see that Dawn was very serious about this, and last thing she wanted to do was make the situation worse. "Dawn," Xander, said with such affection, she could feel her heart melting a little. "Come and sit down and I'll explain."

Dawn however, even if her heart had thawed a little bit, was still in no mood to listen. She felt hurt and betrayed. "I can't believe you Xander," she yelled before running up the stairs into the bedroom. Xander heard the door slam from his seated position in the kitchen. He didn't move. He sat there as the sound of the wood on wood, reverberated in his mind.

A few minutes later, Wesley came into the kitchen. When Xander looked at his face, he could tell he had overheard some of the words Dawn had yelled at him. "Cordelia's gone up to see if she is okay and say goodbye."

Xander just nodded, and watched as Cordelia came down the stairs. 

"Talk to her, Xander," she stated simply, before giving him a hug goodbye. She knew it would be a private matter for them and wanted to get out of their hair as soon as she could. "We'll call when we've got some information."

**************

The feel of the wind blowing through Angel's hair hadn't helped his mood this morning. He pulled the car into the driveway of the motel he was staying at and ignored the friendly wave the manager gave him as he got out. 

He had almost reached the stairs, when he realised the manager had followed him. 

"You had to go somewhere this morning, sir" the manager asked trying to be friendly and just a little bit nosey.

"Yeah," Angel replied, without any enthusiasm. 

"A delivery?"

Angel turned to face the little man. "I had to drop off something," he said with his best, 'leave me the hell alone' voice.

The manager shook his head and walked away. Sunnydale may be a lot quieter these days, but he still remembered some of the 'real' crazies he used to get. Compared to them Angel didn't scare him one bit.

**************

The ceiling had definitely not gotten any more interesting in the sixty or so minutes since Dawn had started staring at it. But her eyes didn't move. Not that they were focussed on the ceiling exactly. It was just a non-descript surface she needed to gaze at while her mind scanned through loads of different thoughts.

The most upsetting conclusion she came to was that she wasn't totally surprised. Somewhere deep in her heart, she thought that just maybe the miracle of Xander's return and their love wasn't meant to be. She never believed fate would bless her so. She had lost her Mom, her father figure and her sister in the past, and her heart almost accepted the fact that she would lose Xander as a given. 

However the bigger part of her heart wasn't going to give up so easily. Fate had ripped Xander from 10 years ago and deposited him here, and she wouldn't second-guess it. She would make sure he knew exactly why she wanted him to stay.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of light knocking at her door. Dawn knew that it could only be Xander. The hesitant beat of the knocks was enough to tell her that. It was little things he did, like that, that Dawn loved about him. 

"Come in," she called.

The door opened slightly and Xander popped his head around the corner. Even though technically it was his room as well, he felt it was necessary to make sure he was welcome.

In spite of her worry and anger, Dawn couldn't help herself but smile at the carefulness Xander used in entering. His goofy grin, even when tempered with the trepidation he must have felt in coming up to see her, was enough to warm her feelings. 

Xander, for his part, only needed one look at Dawn for him to wonder if he could seriously leave her. He knew of course he had to find out what Wesley and Cordelia could come up with. But every time his eyes met Dawn's he knew the chance of him leaving were growing more and more remote.

"Can I explain it to you?" he asked softly, making sure Dawn knew the ball was in her court.

Dawn simply nodded, knowing that however much she may not want to hear what he was about to say, she had to.

"I'm not going back," Xander started, but then caught the look Dawn gave him. "I mean I haven't decided to go back. But I have asked Wesley and Cordy to check out Angel's story."

"So you may go back." Dawn stated, not really asking.

Xander walked over and sat down of the edge of the bed, wanting to be close to her, but still keeping distance between the two of them. "I can't just drop it. I owe Buffy that much."

"She still has that hold on you?" Dawn asked, surprised at the little bit of jealousy that surfaced.

"No she doesn't," Xander answered with as much conviction as he had. "The only hold I feel, and I love it, is the one you have over me. But I miss her, and the others. They were my family. I would like to know if there is a chance to have that back again. Don't you?"

"Of course I do. But things didn't work out like that."

Xander reached over with his hand, waiting for Dawn to take it. When she did, he gave it a tiny squeeze before continuing. "I know and I hate that I wasn't there for you. It hurts that I missed 10 years, Dawn. I think it always will."

"So you may go back, depending on what Cordy and Wesley come back with?" Dawn asked, still trying to get an answer to the main question she worried about.

"No." Xander said automatically, before stopping and taking into his mind exactly what he had just said. He hadn't meant to say it, but now that it had passed his lips, he knew it was what his heart was telling him to be the truth. 

"Are you okay?" Dawn asked, feeling strange that Xander had just told her what she needed to hear, but feeling that there was more to the story.

"Umm, yes, it's just that," Xander paused and looked at her with a puzzled grin. "I didn't know I was going to say that. I mean, I know why I said it, but..." He looked over at Dawn who was staring at him, still looking puzzled. 

"Not doing a very good job on explaining it, am I?"

Dawn just shook her head, wanting to hear what he had to say. 

"Okay, well I thought about it all last night and downstairs this morning, and I know I should've talked about it to you, but I need to know from Wesley and Cordelia what the true story is."

"But I thought you said, you weren't going to go back?" Dawn asked, the level of confusion still high in her thoughts. 

Xander gave her hand a little squeeze again. "I'm not. But I only decided that after running through a few things in my head downstairs."

He took a little breath before continuing. "Going back in time isn't something to be trifled with. I just can't shake the feeling that it isn't something I should be messing in. Say I go back in time, as soon as I did that, everything would change."

Dawn looked at him strangely. "Not saying your wrong Xan, but when did you become at expert?"

Xander couldn't help but give her a grin. "You don't become a fan of SF without thinking about such things." After Dawn had rolled her eyes, obviously remembering his collection of Babylon 5 commemorative plates, he continued. "Form what I've seen and from what you've told me, the world is a much safer place now. What if I was to save Buffy, but because of that, the apocalypse started. What if I wasn't able to save her but because of my presence she couldn't stop the Hellmouth from opening? What if going back in time only resulted in me changing nothing at all?"

"I understand what you're saying, Xan."

"But there is one major reason for never going back. It's selfish, but I don't care." He reached over and took Dawn's hand in his, moving it up to his mouth and kissing it on the back of her palm. "What if going back in time has only one effect. And that effect is something to do with you and you die. It's something I won't allow to happen."

He moved closer to her and lightly caressed her cheek, gazing deep into her eyes. "You see, Dawn Summers, I never plan to leave you. As long as you still want me."

"Oh, Xan," Dawn said just before their lips met in heated passion.

After they had broken the kiss, Dawn eyed Xander lovingly. "I love you so much, Xander Harris. But are you sure? Your nightmares..."

Xander silenced her with a shake of her head. "As much as I would love things to be different. For Buffy to be alive, the Scooby Gang together again, I'm not willing to risk us for it. I don't think Buffy would want us to." 

Dawn had to laugh. "Actually Xander, I'm not sure if Buffy would want to think of us together at all."

"I don't suppose she would," Xander replied, having visualized a painful scene of Buffy finding out about them. 

Dawn's face changed. The smile replaced by a sad frown. "I do miss her, you know?"

Xander could see that some of what Angel had said to her, plus the guilt she felt at asking him to stay was getting to her. "I know you do. Your love for Buffy isn't in doubt, honey."

Dawn leant over and kissed him quickly on the lips. "Thank you."

Xander smiled back. "It was my pleasure."

Dawn giggled a little at the self-satisfied look Xander was giving her. "Okay hotshot, you stay right there. You want a coffee?"

Xander nodded, then watched as Dawn got up and waked over to the door. She gave him a quick glance, before walking outside.

**************

Wesley had spent the hour or so since they had arrived back in LA in the library busily going through all of the books concerning the Orb, Krostoff and any time travel demons he could find. Most of the stuff he was reading he knew about from when Xander disappeared, but there was a few new books that he had to take a longer time checking.

Cordelia had left to handle the daily business. Partly because of the fact they had been away for almost a week and there was a huge backlog to attend to, and partly because she didn't like the fact Wesley was researching it, she was happy to be out of the way. She went along with Xander's plan, cause she knew he needed it, but she didn't like it.

"Ah!!' Wesley exclaimed, just as Cordelia entered carrying a bunch of files.

"What is it?"

Wesley looked up, not having heard that Cordelia had entered the room. "I think I might be on to something. Yes, this is it."

Cordelia couldn't help but smile and the sound of triumph in Wesley's voice. She may not agree of helping Xander go back in time, but she still took pride in Wes's skills.

As she was basking that pride however she could see the expression on Wesley's face change as he read through the passage. By the time he put the book down he looked as though he had just seen death itself.

"We need to call them. Now!" he stated, almost sounding nervous.

************

Dawn had just finished pouring the cups of coffee when the phone started ringing. She went to pick up the receiver, when she heard the yell from upstairs.

"Dawn!"

The panic in Xander's voice was unmistakable. Leaving the coffee cups where they were she raced up the stairs, yelling for him as she did. The response wasn't what she was hoping for.

"Argghh...No!!!"

She reached the bedroom door and pulled it opened screaming out for him as she did.

"Xan!"

His name stuck in her throat as she watched the man that brought joy into her life, slowly fade in and out.

In the background the phone kept ringing.

End Part 14


	15. Part Fifteen

Part 15

"Xander!" Dawn yelled as she rushed over to where Xander had faded back into existence. She grabbed his hand and held onto in fear of letting him go.

"Xan?" 

She pleaded with him to give her a sign he was okay. After a second or two, Xander opened his eyes. They searched for focus, till they came upon the worried face of Dawn, crouching above him.

"Honey," he croaked out, slightly disconcerted at how hoarse his throat felt.

Seeing that he was okay, Dawn wrapped him up in a tight hug, holding onto him for all she was worth.

Xander could feel the tears that fell from Dawn's eyes, dripping onto his neck. Every now and then he could hear the almost silent sobs that emanated from her mouth. He knew she must be really scared. Considering how he was feeling, she must be terrified. He lovingly caressed her back, trying to soothe her pain. "It's okay now."

Dawn lifted her head, not quite believing that all was okay and asked, "what happened?"

Xander knew what the sensation was. He had felt it before, almost eleven years ago. But one look into Dawn's worried eyes told him plainly, she didn't need to hear any theories till he was sure.

"I don't know," he replied trying to sound as convincing as possible.

"But," Dawn interjected, "that looked like what Buffy said happened to you that night." She could tell Xander was keeping something from her, and she knew it was his way of protecting, but she needed to know.

Xander knew he was caught out, and he didn't want to lie to her. But at the same time, he didn't want her getting upset, at least until he knew there was something to get upset about. "The phone," he said hoping to change the subject and give him time to think.

"What?" Dawn asked, before she herself realised the phone was still ringing. Shaking her head at Xander's refusal to answer her question, she reached over and picked up the handset.

"Hello," she answered, her tone a little short.

"Dawn, it's Cordy. Is everything okay?"

"I'm sorry Cordy, we've had a, thing, here," Dawn replied, not knowing exactly how to explain what had happened.

"Umm, look, Wesley has found out some stuff."

Dawn felt that she should tell Cordy that the research wasn't needed anymore. "That's okay, Cordy. We've decided Xander's going to stay."

There was no immediate answer from Cordelia, but Dawn could hear Cordelia whispering something to Wesley in the background. 

She was about to say something when Wesley's voice came on the phone. "Dawn, it's Wes."

"Hi Wes," she replied wondering what exactly was going on.

"Is Xander okay?"

Dawn stared at Xander as she responded. "Yeah he's okay," she said on reflex, before realising that Wesley was probably the one person who could help them with what had happened. "No actually he's not. He just faded in and out a few minutes ago." She could hear Wesley curse on the other end of the phone.

"We're coming back to Sunnydale," Wesley told her.

"What's happening?" Dawn asked, getting more frustrated by the minute.

"I'm not..."

"Cut the crap, and don't try to spare me," Dawn said, interrupting him. "You men are still trying to protect a young girl." She added a very pointed glare at Xander as she said the last part.

"Xander may be in trouble," Wesley replied. "But I don't want to say anymore till I do some more research."

Dawn let out a frustrated sigh. "Fine. We'll see you when you get here then." She hung up the phone and looked at Xander. "You want to talk to me about it now?"

"I don't know what's happening," Xander started.

That was the last straw. "Don't lie to me! I can see it in your eyes, Xan. You're scared," Dawn replied, her anger at being left in the dark, mixing with the fear something seriously wrong.

Xander felt a little ashamed he had tried to keep it from her. "It felt like what happened eleven years ago," he said, but quickly added, "but I really have no idea what this means. I would tell you if I did."

"You have to tell me what's going on. We're partners, together forever, I thought you said."

"I know. I didn't want to worry you till I knew what was happening."

Dawn gave him a smile and shifted across the floor, till she was sitting right by him. "I'm not Buffy's little sister anymore. I can take it you know."

"I know you can," Xander replied. "But I still want to protect you. I can't help it."

"We'll protect each other, okay?"

Xander grinned and nodded. He liked the idea of Dawn protecting him. "I feel better already. What did Wesley say?"

"He said you could be in trouble. Do you have any idea what he means by that?"

Xander shook his head and pulled her closer, kissing the top of her head. "I really don't sweetie, I really don't."

**********

"What's going to happen, Wes?" Cordelia asked as they drove past yet another turnoff on the highway. They were a little over half way there now, but until Cordelia just thought about it, they hadn't as yet discussed the ramifications of what Wesley had found out.

"I don't really know," Wesley replied.

"But if Xander goes back and changes things, what happens to us?"

Wesley was about to reply, when he suddenly realised that he hadn't given the notion much thought at all. He had been so focussed on making sure he got Xander all the details he could. Then after he found out what he did, making sure Xander would be okay. He hadn't given much thought to what would happen to Cordy and himself.

"I suppose in a way, we'll cease to exist," he replied, after thinking about it.

Cordelia didn't have much of a response to that. She had been wondering if that would be true for the last hour or so. After a few seconds, she replied. "So, should we be helping here?"

Wesley could understand Cordelia's dilemma. Now that he had started to think about it, he also thought about all the other people in the world that would be instantly wiped out, if they changed history. Sure the majority of them would live in the new timeline, but there was no guarantee of anything.

"We don't have to do this, Cordy," Wesley said, part of him scared at what exactly the ramification would be to their lives.

Cordelia smiled at Wesley's attempt to calm her down. She reached over and kissed him on the cheek. "But we do, don't we?"

Wesley couldn't help but grin. Cordy knew him well. "I think we do. You couldn't sentence Xander to death, anymore that I could."

Cordelia knew that Wesley was right. There's no way she would deny Xander whatever help he needed to survive. After all in the past they would all be alive. She knew she just had to have faith. 

She just hoped she found that faith soon. 

**********

Dawn glanced at the clock on the wall for the umpteenth time in the last 30 minutes. "They should be here by now," she stated. Each second that passed caused her to worry more and more. Each second that passed was another second where she didn't know what was happening to Xander.

"They'll be here soon," Xander replied, coming into the living room with a couple of glasses of coffee. He took a seat next to Dawn, but unlike most other times in their relationship he didn't touch her. There was a tension in the room that needed to be released before any sort of contact was initiated. 

They had sat together on the couch, for the last couple of hours, and most of the time, not spent any of that time talking. Occasionally one or the other would give each other a comforting look, but until they found out exactly what was going on neither of them wanted to run through any scenarios.

Dawn felt Xander's arm touch hers and was about to see what he wanted, when she felt him start to shake. Turning quickly to him, she could see he was having some sort of seizure.

"What's wrong?" she asked scared at what seemed to be another attack on her boyfriend.

"It's happening again," Xander squeaked out between breaths.

Dawn went to grab hold of him, trying to calm him down, when he simply faded away before her eyes. "Xan!" she yelled.

Then suddenly he was back again, though this time he wasn't conscious. Once Dawn felt sure he wouldn't fade again, she leant forward and searched for a pulse, feeling an overwhelming sense of joy, when she could feel the steady rhythm of his heart. She tried to wake him, by shouting, but after the first few calls of his name, she knew he was out for the long haul.

Picking up the phone, she started to dial 911. Not that she had any great confidence in the medical profession, but she needed to do something.

She threw Xander a quick glance, making sure he still seemed okay, and was about to answer the operator, when there was a knock at the door. She immediately hung up and went and answered it, overjoyed to see that Wesley and Cordelia had finally arrived. 

As soon as Dawn opened the door, Cordelia could tell something was wrong. "Dawn?" she was all she said, though Dawn knew what she was asking.

"He's unconscious," Dawn replied, the worry in her voice growing.

"What?" Wesley asked from behind Cordelia, before pushing past them to get to Xander's prone body. 

Cordelia however stayed with Dawn, knowing that she needed support at this time as well.

"How long has he been like this?" Wesley asked.

Dawn and Cordelia both moved into the living room and crouched down next to Xander's body. "It was just a minute ago. He faded away again, but then re-appeared like before, but he's still out of it."

This seemed to convince Wesley that all of his suspicions were correct. "I'm sorry."

It was all Dawn could do, to stop herself screaming at Wesley. She didn't need his sympathy at this moment. She wanted answers. "Don't you think it's about time you told me what's going on?"

Wesley didn't want to tell Dawn by herself, but since Xander was still out of it, and didn't seem to be waking up anytime soon, he felt like he had no choice. He gazed his eyes towards Cordelia, who gave him an encouraging nod. She knew that this would be difficult for him as well.

"There's no easy way for me to tell you this," Wesley started, before halting. He hated to be the bearer of bad news. The glare Dawn gave him however was all the incentive he needed to continue. "Xander may not be able to survive here."

The words made little or no sense no Dawn. "What do you mean, not be able to survive?"

Wesley picked up one of his old books he had brought. "I have been researching some references in here and they seem to back up what Angel said. He can, and only he can go back in time. However as Angel said humans aren't meant to travel in time, and nature is trying to make things right. What that means is that it's trying to take Xander out of this time. But without the Orb to guide the timewinds, he won't be able to go anywhere and will just fade away out of our dimension."

Dawn refused to believe any of it. "One book said that and that's your proof."

"It's backed up in this one as well," Wesley responded picking up another volume in his hand. He could see that Dawn was clutching at straws, and he too was hoping there would be another answer, but from what Dawn had told him had happened to Xander, he could see no other solution. "I'm not stating this as fact, Dawn. I have had to translate some rather obscure and ancient texts to find out all of this. But from those translations and what is happening to Xander it's what I think is correct."

Dawn reached over and placed a hand over Xander's heart, getting a quick psychological pick me up as she felt his heart pulse. "But, he's been back for a year. Why now?"

Cordelia answered before Wesley did. She hoped her voice might make the news a little more palatable for her. "We don't know. I wish we did."

"Well, I'm not giving up," Dawn relied said defiantly grabbing Xander's hand and holding it her chest.

"Neither will we. I promise you that," Wesley replied.

***********

Around ninety minutes later, Xander came too. He wasn't at all accepting of Wesley's conclusions. Anything that meant he had to go back in time, wasn't something Xander was willing to accept.

"I'm sorry, Wes. I know you are just doing what I asked you to do, but there has to be a way around this," Xander said in reply to yet another attempt from Wesley to make sure Xander could see the truth.

"But look at what's happening to you. What're you going to do next time?"

"Maybe there won't be a next time," Xander offered.

"Oh come on," Wesley scoffed, slamming a book shut for added effect.

"Wes," Cordelia cautioned. 

"No, Cordy," Wesley silenced her objection with the tone of his voice. He looked over at Xander and fixed him with his most serious gaze. "You can't just ignore what's happening?"

"Why not," Xander replied. "It's easier than accepting I have to leave Dawn." As Xander spoke he focussed in on Dawn, who had been quiet for the last few minutes. Looking straight at her, he added, "I won't do that."

"You'll die," Cordelia stated, knowing that Xander wasn't processing that bit of information, or at least not thinking about it.

Xander was going to reply, when Dawn reached over and grabbed his hand. She had a few tears in her eyes as she spoke. "Can I talk to Xander alone?" she asked, although everyone knew it wasn't a request.

"Of course," Wesley replied, getting up and walking out with Cordelia.

Once they were gone Dawn got up out of her seat and stepped over to envelop Xander in her arms. She squeezed him tight, letting him feel her body against his. "I love you," she whispered in his ear.

Xander wrapped his arms around hers and whispered back. "I love you too."

Dawn stayed locked to him for a minute or so, before she moved back and turned Xander around, so she could look at him straight. "I don't want you to die, Xander. Even if it means you going back."

"But I don't believe it," Xander protested.

Dawn couldn't help but smile at Xander's stubbornness. "I know you don't honey. But what if it's true."

"I thought you didn't believe them either. What changed?"

"Oh, Xan. I'm not saying I want it to be like they say. But look at who's saying it. They are our two best friends. They wouldn't lie to us and give us bad news."

Xander could feel the pain in his heart rising, as he talked about a course of action that could take him away from his love. "I don't want to think about that. I can't..."

Xander looked like he wanted to continue when he suddenly started to shake again. "No!" he managed to yell, before the convulsions took over.

"Xander!" Dawn screamed, not to anyone but out of fear, that if what Wesley said was true, this might be goodbye. She held her heart in her throat for a few seconds till he re-appeared, but unlike the last two times he disappeared again.

Wesley and Cordelia heard the screams from the kitchen and came running into the living room. 

"Oh god," Cordelia gasped at the sight of a semi transparent Xander sitting at the table.

Seeing that Dawn was reaching over to Xander, Wesley shouted a warning. "Don't touch him." Dawn shot her hand back and seemed to understand what Wesley was warning her about. The last things she needed was for Xander to re-materialise and have Dawn's hand in his body. 

Just then, Xander re-appeared in full. Dawn immediately checked his pulse and felt her own heart beat a little better, when she felt it pump. She had no idea how long he would be unconscious for this time and while she didn't want to do anything that Xander may not agree with, she felt she had no choice. 

"I need you to find Angel," Dawn stated looking at Wesley and Cordelia. "He knows more about this than anyone."

"I think I know where he is," Cordelia answered. "He used to stay at this motel not far from here, when he used to travel back to Sunnydale. Angel's nothing if not a creature of habit."

"Time's running out, isn't it" Dawn said softly.

"We aren't giving up yet," Wesley replied.

Cordelia laid a hand on Dawn's shoulder. She could see that the strength Dawn was showing was slowly breaking down. "I'll find Angel. There's still hope."

End Part 15


	16. Part Sixteen

Part 16

One of the things that occurred to Cordelia as she drove around the streets of Sunnydale, was how much things had changed since she last lived here. The residents of good ol' Sunnydale may have blissfully ignored the vampire problem consciously, but people still didn't stray out at night all that much. It was as if there was something inside of them telling them it wasn't safe.

Looking around now, Sunnydale's nightlife was of a much more tame variety. Well apart from the drunken louts, you get in every town. But people obviously felt safe. 

It was a small thing, but something that Cordelia could take some pride in. They had won. The losses may have been great, but in the end the Scoobies won.

As she pulled up at the motel, Cordelia really hoped Angel was staying there. It was a good bet, but as they had all remarked over the last few days, they really didn't know Angel anymore. 

Thankfully the manager was very receptive.

"He's in 108," he gruffly replied. "He's a strange one, your friend."

"What do you mean?" Cordelia asked, her natural instinct for information, immediately clicking into gear.

"In and out at all hours. Leaving early in the mornings. Just strange."

Cordelia smiled and thanked the man. She thought it must be boring to manage a place like this and maybe spying on the guests was the only way to keep yourself sane.

She walked briskly over to room 108 and knocked on the door. She was surprised to see the door wasn't closed when she did. 

"Hello! Angel!" she called.

Still there was no answer.

She was about to give up, when she noticed there was a light on in the bathroom. She wondered If Angel was in the bathroom and couldn't here her. Politeness took a back seat, as she needed to find him. So she opened the door and went to walk inside, only to be yanked out again when a hand grabbed her arm and spun her around.

"Ahh!" she screamed at the contact, before noticing who it was. "Angel! Don't scare me like that."

"Do you always break into people's homes." 

The first thing Cordelia noticed was that Angel seemed out of breath. His reply had to stop on a couple of occasions, for him to visibly take in more air. The second thing was the sweat that was running down his face.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm fine," Angel answered evasively, before moving away from her line of sight.

"You seem, well, out of breath," Cordelia ventured again.

"I've just been out for a jog," he replied, before moving into the doorway, blocking Cordelia's line of sight.

"You? Jogging?" It seemed a little too normal for a task that Angel was doing, but Cordelia didn't push it. 

"We need your help." 

"Why?" Angel replied, not wanting to scare her off, but wanting to know exactly why they needed him.

"Something's happening to Xander, okay?" Cordelia replied, annoyed at the twenty questions face Angel seemed to have adopted.

Inwardly Angel grinned, they had finally come for help, but outside his face remained the same stoic self. "Give me a minute to get changed," he replied, no sign of emotion in his voice.

"Sure," Cordelia answered, before making to go into his room. She was surprised when Angel stopped her.

"I'll just be a minute," he told her and then shut the door in front of her.

Something was definitely up with Angel, Cordelia thought. But then they had known that since he re-appeared.

After Angel shut the door, he took a deep breath. That was too close a call as far as he was concerned. Leaving his door unlocked was a critical mistake, and Angel was thankful he got back to the motel in time to stop Cordelia from entering the room.

**************

The first thing Xander realised when he came too was that he'd obviously been out for a while. The second thing that he realised was that he had no real choice anymore. For whatever reason, something was happening to him. Something that felt very much like what happened almost eleven years ago. But there was darkness to it this time. He almost felt as if some unseen power was trying to force him somewhere, but couldn't, so he kept returning. But for how long?

Whatever was happening to him, he knew his choice was taken away from him. He knew that he was going to go back.

From the look of concern on Dawn's face, Xander knew that she realised the same thing. 

"I'm sorry," he told her, as he became fully conscious.

Dawn shook her head, her bottom lip quivering slightly. "It's not your fault Xan."

"I wish..." he started to say, before stopping. He knew what he wished didn't come into it anymore. "It isn't right," he simply stated, letting out some of his anger, at feeling his own destiny being taken away from him.

Before Dawn could reply, they heard a knock at the front door. Wesley, who had been giving them some space, while he continued researching in the other room, went over and answered the door.

Both Xander and Dawn looked as one as Angel entered the house. In a way the felt like the hens, who had just let a fox into their henhouse. But at this particular moment, Angel was the most knowledgeable hen walking around.

Angel for his part, looked as though he sympathised with their cause. But neither Xander nor Dawn felt all that forgiving. 

"I didn't know that this would happen," Angel stated as he came in and sat down opposite them.

"Forgive me if I don't feel like being sociable, Angel," Xander replied.

"I'm just trying to.." Angel started before being cut off.

"Don't you dare say, you're just trying to help," Xander cut in. 

Angel was about to reply in kind, when Cordelia loudly declared enough. It had taken her long enough to track down Angel, and she was in no mood to sit back and watch them bicker. There was too much at stake for that sort of crap. Xander and Dawn may have very little time left, and she was certain neither of them wanted to spend that much of it, arguing.

"Shut up both of you," she shouted at both of them. "Angel you're here to do one thing, and Xander, I hate to be blunt, but this is life and death here."

Xander felt a little ashamed and simply nodded. "So what can we do?"

"It's actually quite a simple procedure," Angel started. "We need to go to where you appeared and than I recant a spell and the orb does the rest. It takes a little while for the power to build up, but the actual process is quite simple."

Xander and Dawn both looked to Wesley in the hope he had some better news. 

"That's what I found out as well," he replied, no joy in his voice at all.

The reality of their worst fears setting in, Xander needed to know a few things. "What happens to this timeline when I go back?"

"In a way it'll cease to exist," Angel answered, not showing any emotion.

"What?" Dawn asked shocked, not having realised that it would effect her reality as well.

"The new timeline will take its place. We won't have any memory of this time," Angel explained, not seeing any dilemma in his words.

Dawn however was taking a lot longer to digest this news. She looked at Xander for support. 

He simply nodded. "I thought it would be something like that. As soon as I go back, I'll have changed history. Maybe not a lot, but maybe a heck of a lot. Whatever happens, a new time line will be created. It can't be stopped." 

"So it'll be as if none of this ever existed?" Dawn asked.

Xander took Dawn's hand in his. "That's why time travel's such a dangerous thing." He hoped it sounded comforting. His knowledge of course was based on endless SF shows he watched growing up, but it still made sense to him. "I won't go back, if you don't want me to."

"But you'll die here," Dawn answered.

Xander didn't respond. He wanted Dawn to make her own mind up. He didn't want to die, but he was asking her to sacrifice her own life in a way, as well as Wesley and Cordelia's, for the chance of them all surviving. 

"We should get moving, If we are going to do this," Angel interjected.

"What now?" Dawn asked, not liking being made to make a rushed decision.

"It's for the best. Xander's unstable here. Every minute we stay could mean he has another attack. He mightn't survive the next one."

"But, I.." Dawn looked back at Xander, then Wesley, Cordelia and finally back at Angel. They all seemed resigned to what would be happening. "I need another day," she pleaded. Looking straight at Xander, she added, "I'm not ready to say goodbye."

Xander rose and stepped over next to Dawn. He knelt down next to her, trying to soothe her pain a little with his words. "At least we have a chance to say goodbye, this way." He wiped away a tear, that had formed under one of Dawn's eyes, carefully away with his hand. 

He turned his head to face Angel. "Give us a hour or so"

Angel shook his head. "I don't think that would be wise."

"It wasn't a request, Angel. I'm sure you can use some of that time to set up whatever you have to set up."

Angel nodded. He knew when to shut up. He had gotten what he wanted, and a loose word now could screw it all up. "Even when you get there it'll take twenty minutes or so before the power is strong enough to send you back."

Xander nodded. "So I have an hour and a half. Wes, do you mind researching till we leave? You never know what you may find."

"There's no time. I need help," Angel interjected.

Wesley thought that Angel's objection was a little to heavy handed, but didn't say anything. Tensions were running high enough as it was. "Surely it's best to keep trying to find out what we can till the last minute. If you need help, Cordelia could help you."

Wesley glanced at Cordelia to make sure she was acceptable to that, which she showed she was when she simple nodded her head.

Knowing that objecting anymore might jeopardise his plans, Angel kept his protest quiet. "We'll be in the clearing. In an hour," he ordered, looking straight at Xander and Dawn.

Xander didn't really acknowledge Angel's words. He could hardly look at him, without thinking that he was somehow responsible for it all. He simple walked over to Cordelia and wished her well. "Be careful."

She smiled sweetly at Xander's concern, before giving the same grin to Dawn. Then she went over to Wesley and gave him a hug. "I'll see you later."

"I'll be there," he replied before reluctantly letting go of her.

When he turned around he saw that Xander and Dawn had already started making their way up the stairs. His heart ached for the pain they must be in, but he was determined to keep looking. It was in that moment of clarity, that an idea struck him. He mentally kicked himself for not thinking of it sooner. 

"Is any of Giles's books still here?" he asked as the couple had reached the top steps.

Dawn looked down at Wesley, a sad smile on her face. She knew he wouldn't give up and she loved him for it. "There is some. Check in the storage space, under the stairs. I've never really looked through them."

Wesley thanked her with a nod, but said nothing more. The rest of the time was for them. He hoped that since Xander's disappearance was one of the last things, Giles had been researching, save for the ongoing fight, some books may still be here.

************

After answering Wesley's question, Dawn followed Xander the rest of the way to the bedroom. Neither of them spoke on the way up. They each could feel the sense of finality hovering over them.

Xander closed the door behind them and they walked over to the bed, both taking a seat and then as if they were thinking as one, they laid down. Xander opened his arms and Dawn set herself in the gap between arm and torso, letting Xander drape it down on top of her as she snuggled into his body.

They lay there in silence for a few minutes, before, as if they both could tell what each other was thinking, they turned and lying on their sides, they looked at each other, wondering what exactly they wanted to say.

"What'll you do when you get back," Dawn asked breaking the silence.

"I don't know," Xander said shaking his head. As each minute passed the reality of it all sank in a little further.

"I mean what about us?" Dawn asked.

"I know what you meant, honey. I don't think anyone will accept me asking you out, at least not when you are fourteen years old."

Dawn nodded, finding it hard to think of them as separated. "I know. I don't think I would have said yes, even if you asked, back then anyway."

Xander looked a little hurt. He was sure she had a crush on him back then. 

Dawn couldn't resist smiling at him. "You ego's safe, Xan. I had the biggest crush on you from the time I thought about such things. But you were a dream, not reality. If you had asked me out then, I probably would have run away."

Xander knew that this wasn't going to be as easy as he had hoped it would be. Saving Buffy may be an easier task, then making sure he timed everything right for Dawn to fall in love with him. "So I need to wait a few years, then hopefully you haven't found the man of your dreams and you'll be ready."

He gently lifted Dawn's chin. "What if you're never ready?"

Dawn smiled warmly at him. "The feelings will be there Xander. It'll just be up to you to activate them." Dawn gave Xander a little chuckle. "I expect you to be the best prom date a girl could ever have."

Xander kissed her and then again. "You'll have the best prom anyone could have."

"You promise," Dawn asked, needing the reassurance.

"With all my heart."

And then there was silence. Dawn snuggled into Xander's side and Xander encased her in his arms. They both thought of nothing other than the love they felt for each other. It wouldn't be long, before they had to think about other things.

*************

Wesley had spent the last half an hour researching through a new set of books, he had found under the stairs. He didn't know why he hadn't thought of it earlier, but as Angel and Giles were the ones who did most to the researching into Xander's disappearance, Giles was sure to have some books on the subject.

Unfortunately the books only seemed to back up everything they had already known. The only difference being that in these books there was no mention of the fading in and out episodes that Xander had been experiencing. That in itself wasn't all that surprising. It wasn't in all of the other books either.

But he had to keep looking. The new books gave him the slight bit of hope he needed to keep his mind focussed on what needed to be done.

He was about to call Cordelia to let her know that he would be delayed, when Xander and Dawn walked down the stairs. It was only then that he realised their time was up. He hadn't noticed that sixty minutes had already gone by.

He couldn't help but choke up at the sight of them. He could tell that they were each being brave for each other. He tried to keep his upper lip as stiff as possible as they approached him.

"Are you ready?" Xander asked.

"Umm, no actually," Wesley replied. "It'll take another half an hour till the ceremony's complete. Give me 15 minutes and I'll be there. There's just a few things I want to check out."

"What things?" Xander asked.

Wesley could tell by his tone, that Xander had leapt on the idea he had found something. He only wished that he had. "I'm sorry, it's nothing concrete. Just that I want to verify a few things in these new books first. I'll ring through any news."

Xander nodded, but had the inescapable need to hug the former watcher. "Thank you," he said quietly.

"It's my pleasure," Wesley replied in kind. He warmly accepted the embrace. Trying to ignore the feeling that it would be the last time he did so.

After they had broken, Dawn came forward and gave Wesley a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you for doing this, but please get there to be with Cordy."

"I will," Wesley replied, knowing that he couldn't have asked for better friends.

The three of them stood there for a few seconds before they all nodded to each other, as if they knew it was time to go, and Wesley watched as Xander and Dawn turned around and walked out the door.

End Part 16


	17. Part Seventeen

Part 17

"Where are they?" Angel yelled as he looked towards the path he knew Xander and the rest would have to walk down to get to the clearing. 

"For god's sake Angel! They need and deserve some time alone," Cordelia replied, exasperated with Angel's growing impatience. "You got what you wanted."

Angel could detect the anger in Cordelia's voice. But she was also right. He had gotten what he wanted. "He may not have much time."

Cordelia came up behind Angel and spun him around sharply so that he was looking straight at her. "No, he may not. But you know what, so what. I can tell part of him would rather stay here, and take his chances. Have you forgotten what that sort of love is?"

"No," Angel replied. "Why do you think I'm doing all of this? This is for Buffy."

"This isn't love, Angel." Cordelia knew Buffy would've wanted none of this, but it was further proof to her that Angel had become fixated on one thing and one thing alone. "Have you forgotten the one part of your plan you didn't tell us about? The part where we all cease to exist if Xander goes back."

Angel hadn't forgotten that, but to him it was irrelevant. The new time stream had to be better. Buffy had to live, and Xander going back, even under these circumstances was a chance Angel was prepared to take. "So why are you helping?"

"Because I can't sentence Xander to death." Cordelia replied. "But don't think for one minute I'm supporting you."

Angel couldn't hide his contempt. "I'd never make that mistake. It's not like you really liked Buffy anyway."

"My god! What's happened to you?' Cordelia asked, startled as each new bit of evidence that the Angel she knew and loved no longer existed. "You better not be an asshole, in the new timeline," she muttered to herself, not caring if he heard at all.

"Whoa, what's going on here," Xander said as Dawn and him entered the clearing. They'd heard some of what Cordelia and Angel were saying to each other as they were walking through the woods, but couldn't hear all of it.

"Angel's just giving me more reasons to dislike him," Cordelia said backing away from her former boss. 

Xander took a look around the clearing, noticing that next to where he had disappeared and appeared previously, the Orb was beginning to shine brightly. Then around the clearing at four different points, crystals, as big as a fully-grown man's hands were sitting on the ground. 

Cordelia looked over the shoulder of Xander and Dawn and was worried that she didn't see Wesley there. "Where's Wes?"

"He'll be here in time. He found some new books that he wanted to check through before coming." Xander looked apologetically at Cordelia. "I'm sorry, we should've made him come."

"It's okay," Cordelia replied. She knew Wesley would stay till he had no chance. It was the sort of person he was. The sort of person she loved.

"What new books?" Angel asked, a slight panic in his voice.

Cordelia noticed that Angel had suddenly become agitated. It didn't make sense to her. Wesley wasn't needed for the ceremony. "What do you care? It's not like you need him for this." Turning to Xander she added. "I hope he gets here soon."

"Give him a call, Cordy. Tell him to stop what he's doing and get here. I don't want him to stay there any longer."

Cordelia knew what Xander was asking, and silently thanked him for it. She took her mobile phone out of her pocket and dialed Wesley's number. Lifting it to her ear all she heard however, was static. "I've got no reception."

"We're not that far from the city central. There shouldn't be any problem out here." Xander replied. 

"There must be some sort of interference," Cordelia replied, looking at the orb and crystals that were set up around them, but not noticing the look of relief that washed over Angel's face.

***************

Wesley had been going back and forth between his book and the ones he found in Giles's collection. There was just the nagging feeling in the back of his head that something wasn't exactly right. He was about to right it off as wishful thinking, when he noticed that one of the books Giles had left was the same as one of the ones, he had brought up from LA. For no other reason, than just a whim, he opened it and checked out a few things.

It didn't take him long to see some of the differences between the two. But they needed to be translated, and even though that was taking up time, he knew in his heart, he had to work it out.

As he read on, the picture was becoming clearer, and as it did, Wesley couldn't contain his hatred for he believed Angel had done.

"That bastard," he cursed under his breath as he reached for the phone, still reading while trying to call Cordelia. When he received the automated message telling him that the mobile phone couldn't be reached he slammed the phone down hard. 

"Shit," he yelled as he did so. He ran quickly out the door, grabbing they car keys as he did. He didn't bother to lock up. If what he suspected was true, locking the house was a moment he couldn't afford to lose.

Angel had lied to them. Wesley had proof of that. The thought that drove Wesley on was what else Angel had lied about. 

************

"It's ready," Angel announced, noticing that the rest of them weren't taking any notice of what he was doing.

Cordelia didn't want it to go any further without Wesley present and his continued absence did nothing to improve her mood.

"Back off," Xander told Angel in no uncertain terms.

"Fine," Angel retorted, "if we're too late and you disappear, this time for good, you can be safe in the knowledge you told me to back off."

The three of them turned to look at Angel in disgust. But beyond that he was right. None of them wanted to risk Xander disappearing again. They looked at each other and knew it was time. Cordelia knew she would have to say goodbye first, just do Dawn and Xander could have some time to themselves. 

She gave him a warm hug. "When you get back there, don't be a stranger to us in LA."

Xander knew she meant Wesley and herself, when she said that, so he didn't say anything about Angel. He had no idea how he would be able to face Angel in the past. 

"I will."

Cordelia gave him one last smile, before taking a few paces away. As she did Dawn came up to him and took his hand, clutching it over her heart. "We're meant to be together, Xan. Believe that. This last year's not an accident in fate. I'll always love you."

"And I'll be there when you work that out again," Xander replied with a small smile, before he kissed her gently. They had already had a long talk, more than once in the last few hours, and there wasn't much more to say. Xander gave Dawn a last kiss, before walking away to where he had to stand. He only got a little distance, as Dawn refused to let go of his hand. He turned and with one look into her eyes, his composure evaporated and he pulled her into a tight embrace.

"I've gotta go, sweetie," he said after a moment, his voice still breaking up as he spoke.

"No, I won't let you go," Dawn replied.

It was six little words, but they cut through Xander's heart like a blade. It was killing him inside to do this, but they had decided earlier that this is what needed to be done. The emotions they were feeling now, while not unexpected, couldn't stop Xander from doing what had already been decided. "We have no choice," he told her gently as he slowly disengaged himself and started to walk away. The hands remained interlocked, stretching out till their arms could go no further. Then one by one, each of the fingers that had been clasped together, came undone until there was just the index fingers of each hand touching, then a fraction of a second later, they too lost contact, causing Dawn to let out an anguished cry.

"No!"

Xander wanted to rush over and take her in his arms, but he also knew that if he did that, he would be writing his own death sentence. There was no way he could go through the ordeal of letting go of her again. He was glad when Cordelia took Dawn in her arms to comfort her. 

Angel had watched in silence while they said their good-byes. He could feel part of his being screaming inside at them to hurry up, while another part felt sympathy for the trio. He would've liked them to understand his actions, but it wasn't necessary and now it wasn't even relevant. 

Xander moved over to the Orb and readied himself for what was to come. If it was anything like his previous trip through time, he would just wake up in the year 2001. At least that was the best case scenario. He may not like Angel, but Xander did believe him when Angel said he would go back to 2001. Angel was so set on saving Buffy that, it was the one thing Xander counted on.

As Angel started to chant, Dawn looked on as Orb and crystals, which had been gathering power over the last twenty minutes pulsed and sent out threads of light energy. The threads came together and started to surround Xander. If she had just been a spectator, she may have appreciated the beauty of the white light with orange shards, flowing around the clearing.

But she wasn't just a spectator. The man she loved with all of her heart was being surrounded by the pulsating energy. She locked her eyes on his, forming a connection that only two people in love can truly understand. She may not be able to hold his hand while he went through this ritual, but Dawn was going to make sure he didn't feel alone.

Xander could feel himself gaining strength, at least mentally from Dawn's loving gaze. He knew in his heart it wouldn't be long now. 

"Angel, stop the spell!"

Wesley's voice cut through the air, before anyone could see him. Then running at full speed, Wesley ran straight past Cordelia and Dawn and up to Angel. Part of him wanted to lay him out, but he needed Angel conscious to stop the ritual.

"Stop it now!" he yelled only inches from Angel's face.

"I can't," Angel replied, glad that he had gotten this far, before Wesley arrived. "It's too late."

"Undo it, then," Wesley pleaded.

"It'll kill him," Angel answered.

Wesley could tell that Angel was not only, not going to budge, but by the satisfied look on his face, he was no doubt telling the truth. Whatever Angel had done to make sure there was no interference, had worked. 

He turned to look at Xander, and then to Dawn, his head trying to work out how to tell them what he had found out. Judging by the rotation speed of the energy ribbons, Wesley judged they had only a couple of minutes till the Time Winds reached full power.

"Can't we pull him out of there. Xander did that to Buffy," he asked Angel, hoping against hope there was something they could do.

Angel just shook his head. Having now completed his task, the one task that had become his reason for living the last five years, he felt mentally exhausted and sank to the ground.

Wesley's feelings of disgust at Angel were forgotten as he spun around to face Xander. He could tell by the look on Xander's face that he knew something had gone wrong. He didn't know how to tell him this news. Tears filled Wesley's eyes as he simply told him. "I'm sorry."

"Wes, you've nothing to be sorry for," Xander replied wondering what exactly was going on.

Wesley motioned for Dawn to come over to where he was. When she did he grabbed her hand and made sure both of them could here what he was about to say. "Angel lied to us. I think he's been responsible for the attacks on you. There was no need for you to go back."

Xander and Dawn both immediately knew the ramifications of Wesley's words. Angel had taken away their lives, their happiness.

"There's more," Wesley started, wondering if he really had the heart to take away their hope as well. "You won't remember any of this last year," Wesley said without much emotion. If he had let any emotion in, it was doubtful he could've finished.

The shock of what Wesley had just told them, didn't take long to sink in. But Xander could feel there was no time to be upset.

"I love you," he told her, wanting nothing more than to give her one last kiss. "My heart won't forget."

"Xander," Dawn started, but then there was blinding flash of light, and when they regained their sight, Xander had disappeared.

Dawn just collapsed where she had stood. What had happened was something she couldn't comprehend for the moment, and at that precise time, she didn't care if the world ended around her.

Cordelia ran at Wesley, grabbing on to him and tightly. 

Angel, however looked like a man you had a huge weight lifted of his shoulders. He started smiling at the sky.

The silence was broken, when Dawn started screaming, "Why! Why! Why! Why!"

She was still screaming it, when she got up and ran at Angel, lashing out at him, with both her fists and feet. Angel didn't fight back, didn't even try to defend himself. He just sat there as Dawn continued to lay into him. 

Cordelia saw Dawn run at Angel and disengaged herself from Wesley and went over to grab her. "Dawn leave him. He's not worth it," she said quietly but determined. Cordelia refused to look at the man she once considered a brother. He was dead to her now. 

"He took Xander away," Dawn cried. "Why?"

"I don't know." Cordelia said as comforting as she could. "But there isn't anything we can do, to change that. I wish we could." She pulled Dawn into a hug and then motioned for Wesley to join her. 

They all knew that if Xander successfully arrived back in time, then this time line was already dying. They didn't know how long it would take for the end to reach them, but they would give each other as much support as they could until it did.

It was Wesley that noticed first. The landscape around them had started to fade away. The night sky had become white, and everything started to dissipate to a whitely nothing.

"It's starting," he simply said before grabbing hold of Cordelia and Dawn tighter, a small piece of hope filling his heart. "He made it"

It was a small comfort to Dawn. They were all alive in 2001, but from there anything could happen. She cast a last look at where Xander had disappeared from, before looking back at Angel who was sitting by himself, just waiting for the end.

"Why?" she asked, needing to know how someone, especially someone who at one time had been close to all of them, could so callously sacrifice them all for his own needs. 

The void slowly descended upon them all, enveloping them. Dawn turned away from Angel, not having enough energy now to feel hatred. She just wanted to look at her friends, let her minds fill with the image of the people she cared about. Which she did as they started to fade away. It was in those last moments, that she heard a whisper, almost like the wind was speaking in Angel's voice. 

It simply told her,

"It was what I had to do."

The End


End file.
